purpleMoments.

taiwan!

2012-02-05T22:03:00.002+08:00

sunday again.
nope, i'm not feeling a teeny bit better.
to add on, darl's having a blue sunday too.
yes, both of us dread work quite abit now.
sigh.

ok let's skip about work this week.
i'm happy how i splurged on friday.
met darling for dinner at suntec.
and i ended up buying 2 pairs of heels.
from steve madden and aldo.
then i bought another pair from c&k yesterday.
ultimate shiokness! haha.
but the sad thing is, my aldo pair feels kinda tight :(
gotta try to expand it.
anw, the happier thing!
i'm going to taiwan in april!
finally.
after 3 years of procrastination.
SQ tix bought.
i'm going to make sure i live like royal once again.
all these years, ive been procrastinating to travel because of money.
and i'm always flying on budget and staying in budget hotels.
but this year, once again, i shall heck it and just enjoy.
holidays are the only things i look forward to lately.
7 days away from work this time. wooohooo!:p

was browsing online just now.
and i've gotten a new item on my wishlist!
celine boston tote in orange!
very into orange bags lately. =D
but i doubt i can find this color at the moment.
maybe i'll check out celine boutique next week to see if i can custom order it in orange :)
yes, i never seem to have enough bags :p

alrighty, shall surf more about taiwan.
can't wait for my trip!
i'll start counting down :)

:(

2012-01-29T23:06:00.002+08:00

i haven't been a single bit happy since cny.
and i found out the main reason.
my job.
the love-hate relationship i have with it, is back.
but this time, it seems much worst.
just over this few weeks, many things happened.
and i could feel my discomfort all over again.

i never liked sales.
i guess you can see from my posts for the past 13 months.
but i've managed to struggle through it.
and somehow i stopped doing sales after being promoted.
though there was the tough transition period where my life was hell for 2 months.
being screamed at every single hour and being paranoid about work.
then that moment passed, i got used to everything at work once again.
just when i thought everything was alright already, changes happened again.
where the focus is now back to sales.
the expectations of a sales manager begins.
i never thought im good in sales in any way.
i never thought im a good sales manager in any way either.
yet now, im being tasked to perform.
the pressure of the expectations are killing me somehow.
i realised how i do not know many things.
and that i suck at most of it.
yet i'm still supposed to lead by example.
which is getting me out of my comfort zone.
i do not enjoy doing what i am doing now.
but i dont seem to have a choice.
yes i do, to quit if i really want to make a choice.
but i know i can't at the moment.
because i have other goals to achieve first.

maybe you can't tell on the outside.
but i honestly dislike being a manager somehow.
the amount of responsibilities i have, drives me nuts at times.
the amount of 'wei qu' i feel, makes me just wanna be a kid again.
where i didnt have to think that much.
my mind is all about work now every single hour.
and if it's not about work, it's about my salesperson.
about how they wil respond or react if i do this, or that.
how would they feel or think about me if i say this or that.
each time my phone rings, i get paranoid, thinking if it's them or my boss.
ahhhh fck, it's really driving me nuts.
i hate this lifestyle that i have now.
it's making me miserable every sunday.
these couple of days, it affected me so badly that i hardly have mood for anything.
i just want to go on a holiday.
a really long one.
but... sigh.

monday again tmr.
guess i can only look forward to friday.
someone, give me somthing to look forward to everyday pls.
:(

dull cny

2012-01-24T23:59:00.003+08:00

this cny started off dull for me.
it all started from cny eve.
when it felt more meaningless than any other years.
we went over for the sake of going over.
i spoke to no one.
merely sat beside my dad for dinner which i only had rice, soup and fishball.
we both finished our meal in less than 7 mins.
with just a few words of 'entertainment'.
and we both left the table.
mom didnt eat at all but she went over to talk to an aunt.
dad went over to his brothers.
and i was left alone, playing my ipad.
everyone else was laughing and talking.
and well, no one bothered to talk to me, neither did i bother to talk to anyone.
i often sit back and wonder, why? why did this family become this way now?
if you don't really know me, you must be thinking that i'm the anti-social one.
but ask yourself, would you bother speaking to hypocrites and people who only care about money?
all they really want is money and that's the only reason why all of them are going back.
if they've been given the money, i bet you no one is ever going back.
yes, that's the kind of people my paternal family is made up of.
i shouldn't be washing linen in public.
but i feel really ashamed and upset that things are this way now.
i don't get the warmth like most families do with their relatives.
even my grandma doesnt care much about me.
but well, i'm used to it.
so used to it that i don't care much about that family too.
i'm just tired.
tired of pretending to treat them like family.
i've had thoughts of not inviting anyone of them to my wedding next time.
i don't care what people will think of me.
but i just want my wedding to be a happy one.
but then again, because i respect my dad, i will go with his decision when the time comes.
i can easily treat them as invisibles.
well, we'll see..

i know i was exceptionally quiet this cny.
i just felt distracted and emotional.
i just wanted to be alone somehow.
i've had quite a number of challenges since 2012 started.
which had been quite tough on me.
everyone claims that it'll be a good year for ox.
but honestly, i dont know.
my job has had many hiccups occuring already.
which almost made me give up many many times.
many things have changed.
including people whom i respect.
i no longer know if i should count on them anymore.
i have thoughts of leaving lately.
because everything feels not worth it anymore.
losing my humanity for money is never an option in my dictionary.
i hope it never will.
but.. sigh.
career was something i never wanted when i started over here.
i merely wanted the money.
but now, career is taking over all my priorities which i honestly do not like it.
but the prb here is, it comes with career + money together.
it aint an either or choice.
so if i choose to give my career up, there goes my money too.
sigh.

pardon me if you see me really down these couple of days.
i just need to sort out my thoughts a little.
i just wish i could go for a holiday soon.
:(

first of 2o12.

2012-01-06T22:40:00.002+08:00

first entry in 2o12.
awesome yet tiring start. haha.
been mahjong-ing quite abit and winning :)
but also, its causing me back ache :(
think im way too old for overnight mj already.

had our first sales event.
tried go-karting for the first time and it's fun indeed.
minus the unglam showercap plus helmet. haha.
my arms are aching like shyt now though.
still, fun experience.
especially when its with this bunch of awesome sales team.

cny. pretty much done for my cny shopping.
> 15 outfits already.
just require heels to match it :)
can't wait for cny!!
yet another few days of break.
though after that, its back to work and reality. haha.

set a few goals for myself this year.
hopefully i'll be able to achieve them all :0
1. attain my driving license :p
2. travel to taiwan and new york by 2012
3. buy a rolex watch
4. get my 2nd chanel
i think i'll be very satisfied if i can achieve 3/4 of the above list :)

i'm not too sure if i'll put in more focus in my career this year.
well, its more of whether im expected to do so or not. lol.
but anyway, i really hope to balance out my life way better.
havent been spending much time with my best friends.
i need to manage my time way better.
let's just hope this yera will be an awesome year!
i'll jia you! :)

2o11 - part one.

2011-12-18T23:24:00.003+08:00

and the year is almost coming to an end.
how time flies.
im twenty six, turning twenty seven next year.
my agew scares me more than anything. haha.
anyway, just sum up my 2o11 :)

let's start with my career.
unknowingly joined an internet company.
never knew what i was going to be in and how far would i go.
owells, never thought i could go this far.
i started off doing sales.
something i never thought i would ever do in my entire life.
struggled for 5 months and i somehow got promoted. haha.
to a team lead, leading a team of 4.
and i grew further after taking upon this role.
in another 4 months, i became a city manager.
to what i am now - a management role.
leading a team of 6 and taking care of an entire city.
being responsible of revenue and the growth of the city.
i never expected to grow this fast and far in this company at such a young age.
no doubt, alot of hard work and sacrifices are required.
im still struggling now at times and often i lose myself.
still, im thankful for my bosses for such opportunities.
because i know i would never have climbed this far without them.
also, with this job, i managed to fulfil many dreams.
bought my first chanel bag within 7 months.
went on 2 holiday trips in 2 months.
bought my first ferragmo pair of shoes in hongkong.
and another prada bag just last month.
the satisfaction that comes from all these, makes all my hard work worth while somehow. lol =p
so yes, i need to work harder in 2012. haha.

another acheivement of the year - bought our bto hdb at pasir ris :)
our love next i would say. hehe.
a location right where we've always wanted.
and i'm glad we could still qualify for it.
can't wait for 3 years down the road where i can have my own walk-in wardrobe! :p

ok, having kinda mind block at the moment.
shall continue this anyday.
till then, have a great xmas week peeps! :)

long gone were those carefree days.

2011-12-04T22:45:00.003+08:00

every sunday, when i sit in front of my com, everything seems familiar again.
the whole feeling of dread.
when i look back at all my past entries, i realised 3/4 is about how much i dread what im doing now.
12 months have passed, many things have changed.
but the feeling of dread stays.
in this job, i dont lose myself but i feel that ive sold my soul to the company.
unwillingly.
the kind of responsibilities and the commitment they expect from me, is something i can't deliver up till today.
sometimes i wished i could turn back time.
to where i was just a sales person earning all the money i can.
and not bothering about any single thing.

i'm tired.
very tired of having to give up my carefree life for all these.
i work my ass off every single day.
give up partial of my weekends for work.
cover for every single ass who screws up.
get scolded every other day.
and making myself pissed each day with fcked up subordinates.
i dont like all that im going through now.
i wish i could fast forward everything.
to 6 months later where i will choose to give up all these.
just to go back to where i always wanted to be.
lead a life of passion and not just for the sake of money and status.
i really need to be back there.
6 months down the road, i want to start my own blogshop.
or be back doing marketing.
over here, i often hear how everyone despises marketeers.
but theres just so many things that they dont understand.
i dont bother explaining to them too.
because it's my passion and not theirs.
i just want to be back there soon.

i cant help but agree,
money cant buy you everything.

shopaholic

2011-11-20T22:41:00.002+08:00

ive been very lazy lately.
i sleep whenever i can.
because work's just too shagged.

anyway, ive been spending alot lately too.
havent been updating pics of those loots.
but trust me, i've never spent so much in my lifetime before. LOL.
in just 5 months, i bought almost everything from my all-time wish list.
1. chanel 2.55 beige
2. chanel earrings (from boyf)
3. iphone 4
4. ferragamo shoes
5. prada hobo bag
6. ipad 2
7. prada cardholder (from boyf)
8. my hdb flat :p
yes, that's almost everything i wanted in 26 years.
all bought in 5 months.
mad guilty for spending soooo much but it definitely made me a happy girl :)
i created a new wishlist though. LOL.
1. chanel 2.55 black
2. chanel bag
3. rolex sea dweller / longines
4. prada wallet
5. a new necklace (brand to be determined again. haha)
6. fendi leather bracelet
shall leave it for next year.
time to save up this year already!
i need to curb my spending very badly.
this month's credit card bills are kinda scary. lol.

spent the whole day sleeping today.
partly because of the weather.
but also, i dread sunday mornings.
where i have to be awake at 10am to complete some work.
happens every weekend.
right after a night of mahjong.
i think im getting old.
super lack of sleep. booo.
i think i need a healthier lifestyle.
darling, from next sunday onwards, can you make me do some activities? haha.
i dont wanna feel so nua every weekend.
anw, spent the entire sat with darl ktving and watching movie.
managed to do some shopping too.
bought my first aldo pair of shoes! ♥
bought quite abit of clothes too.
been so long since i shopped for clothes.
finally new clothes to wear the entire week :)

christmas's coming!
no plans for it yet.
but ive gotten my xmas outfit already! haha.
its red/pink this year! more like cny but i doubt i can wait till then. lol.
i love christmas because its the most relaxing month of all! :p

alrighty, back to work tmr.
till then guys..
have a great week!

sick again.

2011-11-13T22:54:00.002+08:00

havent blogged in while.
i guess, the key - not being able to find time.
im unwell today.
so do pardon if i blog incoherently.

time has been spent doing work everyday.
so much that, i feel so tired every single day.
ive been ill 3 times in 2 months.
usually, i could last 6 months once.
but yea, i feel totally burnt out now.
and sadly, there's nothing i can do about it.
other than work harder.
im running a fever today.
yet i cant be on MC tmr.
sigh.

i havent had time for many people.
havent met my besties in awhile.
havent met up with old friends to catch up.
hardly even having time to have lunch/dinner with colleagues.
weekends with darling is short-lived too.
because im either too tired or we're just mj-ing.
sigh. my life feels quite messed up now.

well, if you're wondering why am i still holding on to all these?
i can be really honest here.
for the sake of money.
i admit im spoilt with my current lifestyle now.
switching back will be tough.
besides, i doubt i can afford to switch back now.
committments are holding me back.

anyway, i feel kinda restless to be typing a proper entry now.
so, wait till i get better or at least when i find time.
have a great week ahead peeps!

wish list!

2011-10-22T00:38:00.012+08:00

i spent the whole night oogling at all these...

down.

2011-10-16T21:21:00.003+08:00

it just gets worst each week.
i broke down this weekend.
because i realised no matter how hard i try, the challenges just get tougher.
i still dont know if im up to it.
but looks of it, im inclined to surrender before i see results :(

finally spent a proper saturday with darling.
shopping and movie.
wanted to buy many stuff but i ended up with nothing.
except for another kate spade hp case.
wanted to get my bvlgari necklace on impulse.
but 3k is too much for me to just buy without 2nd thoughts.
i honestly need to stop wanting to buy 1001 things.
especially the materialistic stuff.
had dinner at astons with darling.
waited so damn long for the food.
never a fan of astons and yea, their food always disappoint me.
nonetheless, we managed to talk about darl's birthday plans.
wanted to get that silly boy an ipad 2 but he doesnt want it.
we're planning for a short getaway instead to KL.
am trying to cfm my leave tmr and i'll book tix for that.
watched real steel after dinner.
damn good show.
its been awhile since i enjoyed a show so much.
go catch if you havent!
anw, got a little emo during the show.
as i realised its been quite awhile since i could enjoy a saturday like this.
the past 1.5 mths have been about work and more work over the weekends.
i felt so tired suddenly.
like, is this the kind of lifestyle i want?
working 24/7 and my mind is just all about work.
i honestly dont want it but im stucked in it now.
sigh. i ended up breaking down.
because i really dont know what to do anymore.
i feel miserable every single day yet i cant just leave like this. sigh.
today's another example of how i attended to work 24/7 again.
last night after the movie, i had to settle some work stuff and yes, that was past 12midnight already.
played mj with my friends but half the time, i was still smsing my colleagues about work.
then i got home at 830am but i couldnt head to bed as i still needed to settle work stuff.
took a short nap after that and woke up at 1030am again to clear more stuff.
by the time im done with everything, its almost 3pm.
so yea, thats only when i got to bed finally.
FML. yes, FML.
sigh.

i dont know when i'll stop complaining.
maybe only when im out of here, or when im finally adapted to it.
but yea, i dont know.
im just thankful to have darling around all these while.
hes been really accomodating though work's been tough for him too.
i really wished i had more time for him.
hope i can make it up to him soon.
darl, lets look fwd to our KL trip yea?
love you loads.

alrighty, back to work again.

dread.

2011-10-09T00:19:00.002+08:00

i felt really down today yet again.
just realised it's been awhile since i had my own me-time.
darling is out of town this weekend.
feels empty without him around but i took this chance to spend time with myself.
i did nothing today though.
besides watching dvd and ironing my clothes.
but i took some time to think through things too.
which made me feel really upset.

my day started at 10am with an sms from my boss.
to conference call him.
i had plans to sleep in today but yes, i couldnt.
the reason for the conference call was because the other team fcked up.
and the call was to give us all a heads up if we fck up the next time.
for a morning call to have all these, not really the nicest thing to happen.
i tried to sleep back thereafter but yet another phonecall.
which was obviously redundant because someone just couldnt wait for another 2 mins to get the email.
i decided to wake up right after because i kneww im not going to have a good slp.
true enough, my hp just rang non-stop with whatsapp msges.
everytime i try to focus on watching my taiwan drama, my phone beeps.
with 1001 ppl whatsapping.
what's worst, unrelated stuff to my city at all.
so obviously i was pissed.
and then, after all had stopped for awhile, someone had to try to prove herself.
prove that shes working extra hard and initiating everything.
so yup, i had to get involved in the chat.
which pissed me even further because i couldnt watch my show.
seriously, im disliking her alot more now.
she used to be my superior but now we're on par and i guess thats why she tries extra hard to prove herself even more.
but its fcking irritating. really.
she's just making everything so political. argh.

anyway, yes, my whole day was spoilt with all these nonsense the entire day.
that's when i started to think.
think about how my weekends have been over the past 1 month.
every single weekend is spent answering whatsapp msges.
thinking about work every single minute.
i dont even have the mood to shop now.
or even enjoy anything that i do over the weekends.
i used to look forward to weekends because thats the only time i can rest and not think about anything and be with darling.
but now, i dread weekends the most.
i feel extremely guilty too for not being able to give darl my 100% attention lately.
im either too preoccupied with work or im just too tired.
i dont even feel like talking to anyone lately too.
because im really just so tired.
im losing my 'life' just because of work.
i cant believe im at this stage again.
the stage where i told myself never to step in again.
but now, unknowningly, i went back there again.
i hate it so much because i know whenever im at this stage, i lose my priorities in life again.
or rather, i lose myself again.
i honestly dont know what to do.
i know its a great opportunity for me now.
to grow in my career, to achieve something big in life.
but is this what i really want?
actually i dont think so.
but i need to stay on for practical reasons.
for money and for my house.
maybe thats why im feeling really unhappy.
because i never liked to live for these reasons only.
i want to live a life doing what i really like and want.
not for money sake.
i want my life to revolve around my other half, my family, my friends and my passion.
not live my life for money only.
i keep telling myself, i only gotta tahan for awhile more.
everything will be fine soon.
i have 2 paths now.
1. earn as much as i can now and leave here in a couple of months.
2. get used to what it is now and establish a name for myself.
my heart tells me to choose 1 while my head tells me 2.
sigh. i dont know. i really dont.
all i know is, i dont feel happy anymore.
taking up this role has made me lose quite abit of things.
first, i lose time.
second, i lose friends, colleagues whom used to be so close.
third, i lose patience yet again.
and finally, yes i lose myself.
sigh.

what should i do?
i cant go on like this.
:(

wasted weekend.

2011-10-02T22:09:00.003+08:00

because i was feeling lerthagic most of the time.
last week was crazy and mad tiring.
i honestly dont know how long more can i carry on this way.
i know everyone's sick of me complaining about my job now.
but fact is, i hate it more each day.
because it takes away my life.
literally. sigh.
i havent been spending much time with darling too :(
i dislike it totally when my priorities in life change because of work.
argh.

a pic to end the night.
i love you darling :)

finally.

2011-09-24T00:25:00.003+08:00

it's finally friday!
no idea if it's good or bad but at least i get to rest a bit.
i've been working till 9ish every single day.
mad tiring and i feel as though my mind havent rested in 120hours :(
worst still, it's meetings meeeting every single day, every single hour, impromtuly.
grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

i dont even have my own space for lunch now.
i feel im just too involved in everything for me to even have my own breathing space.
and lunch is always with the senior management.
and yes, we talk about work again.
i honestly dont know how long can i tahan such a lifestyle.
sigh.

anyway, i havent had much time to talk to darling these few days too.
sorry darl, do bear with me for awhile yea?
i just need to go through this transition phase.
let's hope all will be fine soon.

im too tired to stay awake any longer.
have a great weekend peeps!

the final straw.

2011-09-18T23:41:00.002+08:00

it was the final straw earlier on.
it's to the extent which i feel that i no longer want to be in this role.
the expectations of me are far from realistic.
i dont know how much more can i compromise.
but one thing's for sure, i have a fcked up inbalanced life now.
i dont know why is it always me.
why do i have to be on top of every single thing?
why do i have to bear all the blame?
why do i have to be aware of every single thing though ive only been at it for 3 days?
why do i have to go through all these now when im just a bloody city mgr?
why do i have to give up my weekends for this?
why do i have to be at it 24/7 and have no life at all?
why? someone tell me why?

i broke down 3 times this week.
once, before i started work.
once yesterday.
and the third time today.
which i feel that, this should never be happening.
i was so positive on friday night.
because i thought i could start to adapt and enjoy what i do.
since it makes my brain work and make me more alive.
but no, everything had to be ruined with that couple of smses.
which was just sent to me, although it was supposed to be EVERYONE's responsibility.
so, tell me how fair is that?
i never wanted the role as a team lead.
you guys coaxed me into it.
i never wanted the role as a city mgr.
you guys assumed that im ok and forced me into it.
so now what?
because of all these assumptions, you assumed further thinking that im definitely up to it.
well, thank you all for thinking so highly of me.
but sorry to disappoint, im just not that good after all.
in fact, i never thought i was good at all.
you guys just assumed and set ridiculous expectations of me.
just so you need to know, i do my best in whatever i do but the minute you cross the line and take up my personal life, dont blame me for behaving how i am now.
i just hate it when i cant have my personal space anymore.
i hate it when weekends used to be the only days that i can look forward to in a week yet now, its the days i dread the most.
and it even affected the quality time im trying to spend with darling.
you know how much i hate it?
you guys dont know.
and just continue assuming im fine and expecting me to do EVERY SINGLE thing.
how come you dont expect the rest to do the same?
how come the smses are only sent to me?
how come only i get fcked when things do wrong?
what about the rest who are involved?
why do they not get fcked for it?
in the first place, i dont even hold the biggest stake.
yet i get blamed for every single fcking thing.

yes i feel very inbalanced now.
im this close to throwing in my letter.
but i know i cant.
because i have 3 months of my hard work's commission still stucked with the company.
but i cant seem to take it anymore.
i really dont know what to do now.
i want to go away again. can?
someone take me away from all these pls..

new role.

2011-09-14T22:36:00.002+08:00

i went to work with a heavy heart today.
because i knew of the changes happening while im away.
just got back from bangkok.
great trip with baby.
and i wished i could stay longer over there.
am so looking forward to a next trip.
preferbly in december but we'll see.

major changes in my job role now.
i dont exactly know how to describe my feelings.
but my responsibilities and tasks have been heavily added.
not forgetting, i need to work on weekends too.
and thats what i always hated throughout my working life.
no doubt im learning alot already although its only my first day going through it.
but im not too sure if it's really what i will enjoy.
or look forward to do everyday.
i think the tough part now is juggling my sales role and the city planner role.
its still too early to speak now.
or to make a judgement.
we'll have to see.
but i do know that i dont feel very positive about it somehow.
i just wish time will just fly pass.

im feeling too tired to blog further.
will probably upload my bkk pics on another day.
good night peeps.

dread.

2011-08-31T22:06:00.002+08:00

work hasnt been that smooth sailing for me.
in fact, i dread going to work so much this week.
i just dont understand of the expectations my mgt have of me.
i mean, what is my position ultimately?
only a team lead.
i have a sales mgr above me, yet im expected to do the same.
expected to do things which im not told to do so.
like i would fcking know.
sigh.
this feeling really sucks :(

i know i shouldnt be, but i am having 2nd thoughts now.
about all these all over again.
have i been right about my choice all along?
i dont know.
i know im pretty much a weakling.
crumbling over every small thing especially when it comes to work.
i appear strong to every single one out there.
but deep down, i know i fcking hate whatever im doing now.
and yes, i'll be niam-ing to myself like what im doing now.
in the past 8 months, money was one factor that made me pull through.
but this month, all im thinking is, just earn a little bit more and i want to be out of here.
can i?
but what will happen to my house?
sigh.
i realised i hate this role more than i hate doing sales.
which explains why i feel like giving up.
i know i always give up easily when it comes to working.
but honestly, i just dont have the determination for it.
sigh.

i dont know what i want to do now.
but i know tmr morning will be a bad morning for me.
because my bosses are coming back.
probably get fcked again for what happened on monday.
owells.

i cant wait for my trip next week.
its that soon.
i just wanna get away from work.
for as long as possible.
but yes, im dreaming.
:(

twentysixth.

2011-08-22T21:52:00.012+08:00

officially 26 already.
this year's birthday had been really simple.
but im thankful for the the company i had since friday :)

dinner with my colleagues on friday.
headed over to marina bay golf course.
very nice place, food's ok but service's very bad.
that's besides the point.
my colleagues tried to surprise me a little with the cake.
but the waiter spoiled everything. haha.
he practically stood behind me and said loudly, "so, do you want me to serve the cake now?" haha.
and when he came out with the cake, it was still in the plastic bag.
epic failure. lol.
nonetheless, had a great time with my colleagues and am thankful for the celebration they organised for me :)
oh yah, and darling surprised me with a bouquet of roses + penguin at my office.
totally made me day. hehe :)

saturday was with darling.
first stop was lunch at nakhon.
loved the food there and of course it started my day well.
we headed to botanical gardens thereafter.
though nothing much but i still didnt mind just taking a stroll there.
high tea at high society was next.
atmoshpere was so so, think i prefer twg much more.
but yes, its the company that matters most.
lastly, dinner was at ippudo.
heard so much about the ramen but never had the chance to try.
not too bad but very expensive for ramen.
would prefer tampopo still.
darling ended the night with car ride as i didnt want to head home. haha.
very simple night but thank u darling for being there with me :)
went cycling on sunday.
gotta admit ive aged as i was mad tired after a short while. lol
i need to exercise more.
anw, dinner was at triple one with parents.
didnt like the food there but once again, im thankful for the company.
*loe my blue dress though. hehe.

really simple birthday this year.
guess i wasnt very much into the mood too.
but still, :)
meeting my besties later in the week.
cant wait to meet them.
birthday pictures in awhile :)

before i go to that, ive finally booked my bkk tickets!! :))
im going from 9sep to 12sep.
cant wait, seriously. hehe :p
kk pictures time.

expectations.

2011-08-16T00:33:00.003+08:00

i dont know since when i started having expectations again.
perhaps its times like this when i feel really down.
these few weeks have been emotionally unstable for me.
mainly caused by work.
but yes, its taking over me.
and maybe because of this, i just wish i could have a good weekend everytime.
to add on, a good birthday weekend this coming week.
but like i said, i dont feel loved or important this year.
maybe its just me making myself feel this way because im feeling down.
but still, i wanted so many things to happen, but things are all not just going my way at anytime now. maybe thats why.

im not as complicated as it seems.
i get satisfied easily.
just by people being able to read my mind without me saying a thing.
but often, no one bothers to read my mind.
or take a hint in whatever i say.
the things i want are at its simplest.
i dont need a luxury gift, a grand birthday party, a candle-light dinner, etc.
all i need is doing things that i like and making me happy.
simple things like going to places which ive always wanted to go.
trying out the food from cafes which i often mention briefly.
doing simple things like cycling, ktv-ing, picnic-ing, high-tea-ing.
just doing things that will take my mind off work.
that's all im asking for now.
i fight a battle at work everyday.
the least im asking for is doing these simple things to make my day.
but what i dislike most, is having to tell people what i want to do.
if i had to tell everyone about it, wouldnt i make myself happier by doing and fulfilling it all on my own rather than waiting for others to make it happen?
yes, all im asking for is for others to read me better.

alright. im going to bed.
and not bother about anything anymore.
maybe i'll be happier doing nothing on saturday.
at least i wouldnt need to plan everything on my own.
good night peeps.

boring weekend.

2011-08-14T22:48:00.005+08:00

today marks the end of the weekend again.
nothing much was done because of my nua-ness.
no idea why but i feel extremely tired this week.
sigh. work work work.

anyway, i still have zero feel about my birthday next week.
7 days from now but im neither feeling excited or what.
ive no idea what i'll be doing and who im meeting.
owells.
i want to have a fun weekend.
but no idea what it constitutes of.
i just want a weekend different from the norm.
i feel that i havent been spending my weekends wisely.
neither has it been fulfilling.
im a little sick of shopping.
since i do it almost everyday. lol.
but yah, i still dunno what else should i do.

haha ok im naiming today.
kinda moody yet again.
pictures to end the entry.

moody.

2011-08-10T22:02:00.003+08:00

i dont feel very loved this year.
today's the 10th and it feels nothing like my birthday's 11 days away.
owells..
yes, i have 1 colleague who booked me in advanced.
sweet but zero surprise element because i know exactly what we're having.
including my cake. haha.
but still, appreciate it :)
and darling.. present given.
my chanel earrings.
so yes, no surprise element in any way too.
owells.. lol.
ok and yes, thats about it.
maybe thats why i dont really feel like my birthday's approaching.

as per every year, i want to do something different.
but i dont know how different is different.
i could have a nice staycation holiday.
i dont mind it being mbs, rws or anywhere in sg.
but the problem lies with, i feel really broke now.
after spending on my chanel bag + iphone.
and saving up for my upcoming trip.
dont ask me why i act like i only earn 1-2k.
fact is, thats the amt i allocate myself to spend a month only.
it includes my transport fyi.
so yes, i dont have the luxury of spending like a true tai tai.
and yes, means no staycation for me in any way.
i wished i could go for my bkk trip like now.
but darl cant get away, neither can i.
1oo1 things to do at work. sigh.
i dont know what else can i do for my bdae.
i foresee it being a boring bdae :(
owells..

ok im actually very emo these days.
work is taking a toll on my life emotionally.
i dont look fwd to work a single bit anymore.
sigh. but yes, for the money.
i spent quite abit since friday.
because i was feeling moody, i kuang-shopped.
bought 3 dresses on friday, 5 dresses on sunday, and 1 dress today.
bought 2 iphone casings, 1 belt and many small little things.
sigh.
ok i'll stop niaming.
more updates when i feel better.

emo.

2011-08-05T23:27:00.003+08:00

been a lousy week yet again.
ive been working late, with 1001 things undone and long hours of meetings.
sometimes i just find it hard to breathe over here.
first was the sales target.
now's the mgt's expectations.
well, i seriously dunno how game enough am i for this.
often enough, i find myself wanting to give up.
sigh.
and of course, i have people who irritate the shyt out of me.
even at a timing of 11pm on a friday night.
sigh.
i just feel so tired.

ive been looking fwd to my hongkong trip.
but plans have to be changed now due to some reasons.
sianz to the max.
and yes, my birthday is approaching.
but i somehow dont feel excited about it at all.
no plans at all.
but my colleague booked me on the 19th already.
sweet of her but just no feel for my birthday still.
sigh. i guess im too bothered by work.
im starting to develop negative thoughts again. sigh.

i went to shop alone just now after work.
because i was feeling really moody.
wanted to find someone to talk to but i realised theres no one at such short notice.
cant really talk to my colleagues because now that im their TL, i guess its not appropriate for me to be niam-ing about certain things.
so yes, its just me and me now. :(
bought 1 top and 2 dresses just now.
pretty satisfied buys but couldnt overcome my emo-ness.
wanted to walk around longer but my feet hurt like mad.
so i ended up cabbing home at 7ish.
but at least i got to watch my tv dramas which ive been missing out alot this week.
i realised sometimes home is the only place i can find comfort in.
sigh. ok i know i sound really depressed now.
but no worries, i know i'll be fine tmr.

alrighty, thank god its saturday tmr.
finally get to spend time with darling again.
i wanna get heels but even ninewest and aldo doesnt have heels that satisfy me.
sianz.
no idea why we're heading tmr but i might wanna pop by east side.
been a long while since we last went there.
k, enjoy your weekend peeps!
a pic of me to end the entry :)

Chanel 2.55 :))

2011-07-31T21:02:00.009+08:00

as i type this email, im very bothered by work.
its honestly a love-hate thing with my job.
i love the colleagues and the $.
but i hate the merchants.
ok not all, but most. sigh.
ive been bothered about work the entire weekend.
this feeling sucks.
but im thankful i had yesterday.

so, what happened yesterday?
i bought my 1st CHANEL bag!!! :)))
it was ultimate satisfaction i must say.
i got the jumbo 2.55 in beige!
it was a struggle between beige and black but i think i heart the beige more now.
so yes, i finally got it :)))
darling got the CC earrings for me too - my early birthday pressie :)
thank you dear! hee.
i couldnt stop smiling the entire day.
i used to get post-buying dissonance whenever i get something expensive.
often left a sour feeling after buying because it cost me a bomb.
but this time, it was purely satisfaction though it cost me more than 6k.
i guess this shows how much i really want the bag. haha.
anyway, i got my iphone4 in white last week too.
i used to think its ugly but now i think its pretty. LOL.
weird me.
but anyway, yes, im happy with all my buys.
ive got a few more things on my wishlist.
lets hope i can get it soon. haha.
oh yah, not forgetting i got darl his burberry belt too :)
feels good making the people around me happy too. hee.
and yah, thats been my only motivation at work too.
at least i get to reward myself after 7 months of hard work.
okok gonna spam this entry with pics :)

i know..

2011-07-22T22:11:00.003+08:00

the things i blog here now are getting kinda dry.
well, simply because my life revolves around work and weekends only. lol.
not very interesting weekends too because i'll be too tired to move my butt out.
anyway, im just thankful that its friday again!
these few weeks have been mad tiring.
feels like im in a battlefield each day.
so much that i find no other motivation at work other than money.
money's the only thing thats keeping me alive now.
because i want my chanel and my trip soooo badly. haha.
to make up for all these hard work!
haha. harsh reality but yes, nothing else motivates me further.
but yesterday, i bumped into my uni classmate.
well, i dont really know him in person previously.
but i know quite abit about him as he used to be seated behind me. lol.
and hes a friend's friend.
but anw, the point here is this, he asked me this,"why arent you in mktg? it seems like everyone i know is not in mktg now? do you not like mktg?"
haha, honestly, i was kinda stumped.
because it brought me back to the point before i started this job.
the fact that i left my dreams to pursue something called vitamin M.
as much as i used to hate it so much, but i guess thats the only reason why im holding on now still.
anw, i replied this to him,"nope, i still do like mktg but its just that im looking for a different experience and exposure now"
well, i dunno how much that convinced him.
but at least i know im still able to convince myself.
i believe that once ive earned enough, i will move back to my dreams.
i know im not that far from my target now.
1.5 more years. yes, it's going to pass in a flash.
okok, i know im trying too hard to convince myself now. haha.
but well, yes, we'll see :)

ive been shopping alot lately again.
yes, to de-stress.
many pretty clothes that made me happy but yes, not much occasions to wear :(
i simply cant wait for my walk-in wardrobe.
the reason why i need to earn more now. haha.
cant believe the fact that i'll have a home of my own in 3 yrs time *beams*
im sure darling is looking forward too. heee.
ok anw back to shopping.
i have a few main things on my wishlist now.
am intending to fulfil some by next mth if possible :p
1. chanel 2.55 =D
2. bvlgari b.zero necklace in white gold
3. iphone 4
4. ipad 2
anyone wanna get any of the above as my bdae gift? LOL.
i know the above are damn bloody costly items but i just want them so badly.
i hope i can fulfil at least 2 of them by this month.
pray for me k? hahahahaha. :p
im a lil mad now.

okok i'll try to update this space with more interesting stuff soon.
remind me pls. lol.
have a great weeeknd peeps!

cute jumper!

2011-07-20T22:27:00.003+08:00

coasta ris :)

2011-07-14T23:34:00.008+08:00

it took me awhile to feel really happy.
haha because i was nervous the entire day.
yes, about our flat selection today!
here's the happy news, we're eligible for it! hee.
thankfully for the prayers, and for my bosses' help,
without them, i know it's never possible :)

anyway, here's the whole story about today.
went ktv with darling this afternoon.
been a long long while since we went to ktv together.
was a little distracted with work though because i sync-ed my iphone with my office email. sians. but i dont have a choice.
yeap, anyway, ktv ended pretty early so we decided to head to toapayoh first.
who knows, the hdb peson called us and said that we could go earlier.
so yeap, reached there almost 2 hrs before and got a queue number.
got really nervous while waiting and whats worst, we couldnt decide on a unit. LOL.
because to be honest, those units that were left shortlisted aint exactly the ones we wanted initially.
but after checking on some fengshui, we decided that its better to heed the advice.
so yeap, had to choose between those options.
BUT... the one we really wanted was taken up yesterday already!
angry but no choice.
so we had to choose one from the other 2 remaining units.
tough choice because of the mrt and the multistorey carpark.
darl's parents came down so they joined us in the selection.
well, after hearing some opinions, we finally could settle with 1.
not exactly the best choice but just hope its good for both of us in future :)
but boy, it was really very gan cheong just now. haha.
like im so afraid that when its our turn, that unit will be gone too.
luckily, no one has chosen that unit in any floors except us. lol.
but, it is also one of the most expensive unit in the entire coasta ris.
location not very good though. but well, nvm, its ours! lol.
ok more pics on the place below :)
also, just wanted to say thanks to all who congratulated us on fb.
i feel loved by my friends. haha :p

aw, love you darling :)

and yes, this unit below - 525!

random update.

2011-07-10T00:18:00.002+08:00

the boyf's asleep already while i type this entry.
guess he's really tired as he went to work this morning.
his job, well, gets him very physically involved.
so i guess that explains the fatigue.
anyway, today, we went to check out on some fengshui for the units we're interested.
im not exactly superstitious but i felt there was no harm asking.
besides, it was from darl's uncle. so definitely reliable.
but sadly, those units which we shortlisted, werent exactly ideal.
hence we had to repick all over again.
choices were limited though, due to the direction of the land.
but yea, just hope we can get it.
am pretty eggcited about it! it's this coming thursday :)
took 2 days leave so that i could have a long weekend. haha.
i just need that short break.

work's been very stressful lately.
well, ive got a lot more to learn.
sometimes i just wished i could take a long break away from all these.
sigh.
ok nuff about work.

been shopping a lot still.
just cant stop.
no idea why :(
pocket's bleeding but im still spending. haha.
owells, a leopard never changes its spots.
yes, very right. :p
but i need to be on a ban for awhile.
this mth's salary is pathetic because of the deferment.
so yes, i need to dong till next month :(
boooo.
no pictures lately as ive been lazy to bring my camera out.
plus, we hardly head to anywhere besides hdb hub. lol.
busy checking out the models each time. haha.

alrighty, back to surfing net.
have a great weekend peeps!

ninewest!

2011-07-03T21:18:00.003+08:00

seventh month into my job already.
i still dont know if i like it or not.
i dont particularly hate it anymore.
everything became a habit, a routine.
and that im just happy when i can satisfy most of my wants now.
yes, i have lotsa wants every single day.
and i spend like crazy. haha.
just last week, i bought 18 dresses/tops/skirts/pants.
am i crazy or what? :p
and yesterday, i bought my first pair of heels from ninewest!
if you're wondering what's the big deal about ninewest?
well, my bloody pair of heels cost me $205! LOL.
if you know me well enough, i buy lotsa clothes and heels, but they hardly cost over 50bucks.
my first pair of then-most expensive heels are from pazzion - 80bucks and i was niaming.
but yes, yesterday i bought that ninewest pair!
all thanks to darl who psychoed me. haha.
im madly in love with it now though! just hope it doesnt hurt.
so what's next i guess you're wondering? lol.
maybe christian louboutin? =x

im dying to buy my chanel.
but yes, i need to think about my house.
2 more weeks to the selection.
hope all goes well.
im taking leave for 2 days too.
need a break from work.
its been too stressful. sigh.
okok i'll not talk about work in this post.
kk 1 pic to end this post.
spot my new heels!

vexed.

2011-06-26T23:49:00.003+08:00

in a horrible dilemma now.
to buy or not to buy?
seriously.
sigh.
stepped into chanel on saturday.
and i regretted it badly.
because im highly lemming for the 2.55 in caviar beige leather.
mad chio can?
been in love with it for the longest time but its only now that i can afford it.
BUT.. the price had to increase by 1000. damn sian.
its so like my loewe. sigh.
6.6k is no joke.
but then again, it's my bloody dream bag.
where's my platinum?
so near yet so far. sigh.
should i get it? i dont know. i really dont know. :(

also, im damn sian because yet again i might not be eligible for the hdb.
sigh. because hdb stated may - jul salary.
seriously, just my salary alone would hit the ceiling.
i feel so vexed now.
about the house, about the bag.
i seriously need a windfall then all these will be solved.

ok i should stop whining and go to bed.
no point thinking about all these shyt.
just hope all these can be solved.
most importantly, the house.
god, please help us...

2 happenings in my life.

2011-06-22T22:27:00.002+08:00

cant describe how tired i feel these days.
i think it's the mental stress that's wearing me out :(

anyway i was quite perturbed and perplexed this morning.
because reality hit me and i realised i might not be eligible for the BTO.
my first appointment letter came and everything else.
but when i enquired more about the loan, i realised about the salary ceiling.
not just for the loan, but it is more about the eligibilty.
there is a possibility of us hitting that 8k ceiling.
and not being able to buy a hdb.
was very affected this morning but i decided to seek help.
and thankfully, my bosses are willing to help me.
shall not go into full details but im really very thankful for their help :)
hopefully it all goes well.
and im not too sure if ive mentioned, ive officially been promoted to a team leader.
been performing duties for the past 2 mths? but it was only official about 2 weeks ago as i was on probabtion previously.
guess everyone would have known by now from my past entries.
anw yes, thats the main reason why im so stressed up every now and then too.
managing people seriously is not an easy feat.
ive got so much more to learn.
i hope all these hard work will pay off next time.

cant wait for the weekends.
i really need my rest badly.
i havent had time to clear my mind of all that clutter too.
been mad busy every single day.
maybe i should take leave for 2 days to just sort out all my thoughts.
yea. have a great mid week peeps!

nightmare.

2011-06-20T00:03:00.002+08:00

i feel really down at this moment.
i didnt have a good weekend and i dont look forward to tmr a single bit.
sigh. i wished i could go on a holiday now. sigh.

last week was a bad week.
it made me realise how tough it really is to manage people.
and i start to question myself, did i even make the right choice?
seriously, i dont know.
it's just one person im talking about, but its enough to make my entire week horrible. and to give me a splitting heavy head and make me lose my temper at the slightest thing.
im beginning to not be able to have a work-life balance again.
its not about the workload.
instead its the part about balancing my emotions. sigh.
every minute im thinking about work.
when my hp rings or smses come, i freak out.
sigh. and im losing temper over all those who arent even involved.
'darling, im sorry.
i know i have been flaring up the entire weekend.
but i just cant control myself.
i just feel like shyt the entire weekend :('
what's worst, everyday im just clearing other people's shyt.
its not as though i dont have my own shyt to clear.
ive got 1001 things to do of my own, yet ive to settle another 1001 prbs of others.
why, why did i take up this new role? grrrrr.
i dont look forward to tmr.
because i know theres even more shyt for me to clear.
its times like this when i wished i could just fck off everything and mia.
really. argh.

ok i should go to bed.
night.

at long last!

2011-06-12T21:30:00.003+08:00

ive been eggcited since friday! :)
so many ideas running through my head non-stop.
been awhile since my mind's thinking of stuff out of work.
though its 4 years away but i seriously cant wait! hehe.
yes yes, we got our BTO!
ok im assuming we got it since our queue number is 182 out of 600+. haha!
happy max can?
if you dont already know, ive always wanted a place of our own.
but it was never the right time previously.
besides there were never a single BTO in the east.
again, if you dont already know, i love the east.
i alwaya think that the people there are way much cooler. wahaha :p
ok enough crap.
anyway, yaya we applied for the BTO in pasir ris - coasta ris :)
first time applying and i think we're really lucky to get it. hehe.
the selection will be later in the month but i hope we can get something we both like - high floor that is.
eggciteeeed! haha.
okok but this means saving a lot more money too.
and yes, earning more and spending less for me.
i dont mind though cos i really want a pretty home.
with modern decor and finally my own walk-in wardrobe!
darl has agreed to let me have one, but yes, on the condition that he has his game room too. haha.
see how well we accomodate one another. LOL.
im still super eggcited! :)
both of us are in fact. hehe.
i love my boyfriend! :))

okok more about the flat once ive gone through the other procedures.
now about my week.
this week had been horribly tiring.
mind games i gave to myself.
even the people around me could tell how tired i was.
age is seriously catching up.
i need more beauty sleep.
ive been unwell too.
guess too much alcohol the past couple of days.
friday was spent at timbre with my colleagues.
to celebrate the june babies' birthday.
went over to v golf later in the night to party. haha.
i seriously felt old cos its been quite a while since i went to a club.
but we ended up playing virtual golf! since its a golf place. haha.
pretty fun but i sucked at it cos i was in super high heels.
better try next time!
anw, yea my body started to ache since saturday morning.
but i had to attend the hard rock concert later at night with darling.
it was mainly for work purpose as i had zero clue about the band performing.
haha. but overall, still an experience cos i was VIP :p
ended up leaving early and caught the movie - Super 8.
it was an alright movie, to pass the night at least. haha.
yea, woke up this morning feeling much more unwell.
so i guess i need to head to bed early tonight.
long week ahead.
just hope all goes well.

have a great week ahead peeps!

stressed.

2011-06-09T22:30:00.002+08:00

i know i havent been blogging.
well, ive been really exhausted lately.
with work that is.
i feel like ive killed a million brain cells everyday.
its the mental stress that is getting me down.
sometimes im back to feeling, yes, im still not ready.
sigh. but i know im not supposed to give up.
so yea, im struggling each day.
hopefully i learn the ropes faster.

am really thankful its finally friday tmr.
this week has really been tiring for me.
guess im falling sick too.
so i hope to recharge this weekend.
but i gotta attend the concert at hard rock on saturday.
just hope it'll be fun!

anw im very into the spring/summer colors lately.
but havent really dared to go out in those colors. haha.
my first attempt will be tomorrow.
hopefully it turns out good :p

seh.

2011-06-02T22:49:00.003+08:00

still feeling seh from wine this afternoon.
nope, not skiving away but it was for work purpose.
you all know im definitely not a wine person.
but yes, just for entertainment sake and a contract signed :)
dont get me wrong about my job. haha.
its the first time im drinking for work.
this lady i met belonged to the happening, party kind.
so yeap, just had to go along.
today feels really busy.
1oo1 things which never seemed to ever end.
im also trying to push myself further this month.
to earn as much as i can.
and spend as little as possible.
i just wanna reach my goal sooner.
but because i wanna reach my goal sooner, i cant really reward myself now.
been wanting to splurge on a branded bag.
or even a bvlgari necklace but yes, i need to be more patient.
it's coming.. but just gotta bear for a few more months. haha :p

if you think, i'm changing my stand and only talking about money now.
well, i just want to make it clear that my dreams are still impt to me.
but i can also finally understand why most people choose to give up their dreams in the initial stage.
because a different sense of achievement can be achieved when you earn more.
it can in fact allow you to materialise your dreams in the long term if you still choose to pursue it.
no, im not saying you should give up your dreams now just to earn more.
but i realised that theres a time for everything.
theres a time to be moving vertically up and a time to move horizontally across.
and for me, im now at the vertical stage.
i need to be achieving short term goals first because i can even be close to my dream.
and when ive achieved enough, thats when i will look back at my dreams again and work towards it.
i got to understand this through my boss.
i think he's an amazing person.
who has achieved so much in such a short time.
besides, after achieving so much in monetary perspective, he has not forgotten about his dream.
hes still looking to fulfil it in the next 5-10 years.
i honestly see him as a role model.
and i feel blessed to have known yet another good boss :)

ok i dont know why im talking about all these. haha.
but anyway, tmr's finally friday again.
intend to indulge in a shopping spree tmr :)
i just need to pamper myself with small lil things to keep myself going.
haha excuses i know.
but yes, sadly, ive been feeling down because of work lately, because of the stress.
very often i feel like giving up but i know i cant.
so yea, need more motivation around.
give me your support k?

alrighty, bed time soon.
good night peeps.

drinks with colleagues!

2011-05-28T12:33:00.011+08:00

concussed at 5ish am this morning but im awake since 11am.
mad tired now but im still waiting for a sales call by my boss :(
anyway, im finally going to post some pictures up.
had steamboat and drinks with my colleagues last night.
company was great cos i realised there are all kinds of different characters in the company which never fails to make us all laugh. haha.
alrighty, picture time!

stressed.

2011-05-24T23:32:00.002+08:00

if you ask me how's my week so far, well, bad.
nothing happened but im tremendously stressed up with work.
maybe because im setting high expectations of myself.
i dont know.
i just feel bad :(

this transition period havent been easy.
ive got so many things on my mind.
everyday im thinking of how to manage my team well, and thinking of my numbers for the month.
that's not enough.
ive still got irritating merchants to chase up and who are pissing me like shyt.
so seriously, i dread these couple of days.
i havent been very well since monday.
difficulty in breathing till i feel like i need an oxygen tank.
not to mention, the weather's been a killer + the horrible air.
i have been feeling really down but still, there's nothing to cheer me up.
i had to think of 2 proposals today.
for submission tmr to my boss.
yes, 1 day lead time.
how not to stress?
sigh.
i know this path's not going to be tough.
yet i never knew it could be that depressing.
i can only hope i'll go through this phase quickly.
and that things can fall in place soon.
god, please help me k?

good night all.

frydayyyy!

2011-05-20T22:23:00.002+08:00

my day didnt start off too well today.
because i felt disturbed about something since last night.
i realised the need to speak much wisely now.
because my words seem to carry some weight lately.
so every single thing i say, may make or break someone.
more often the latter. sigh.
so yes, i need to be selective when i feedback on anything now.
anyway, yes, 3/4 of my day wasnt that good.
with weird merchants and weird people around.
but im glad it ended off pretty well.
ended my last appointment at about 5pm.
and decided to head back to office as i needed to clear some stuff.
thought some of of my team members would be back but none were around.
so i had to entertain myself and look for people from the other dept to entertain me. haha.
had a pretty nice time catching up with some of them.
well, though we're all in the same company, but we hardly have the chance to interact with the other depts as we sit really far and we're hardly in office.
so yeap, today's catch up was good :)
am glad its friday again today!
very short week for me but all's been great!
anyway, im slowly fitting into my role now.
am definitely finding it easier now as compared to the first week.
but im still learning to manage my team.
challenges still there and trying to cope with my daily work.
just hope everything will go on smoothly :)

im yawning already but i wanna stay up late tonight.
its finally the weekends so im hoping to spend some quality time alone. haha.
boyf's been really busy these couple of days.
so havent had much time to talk to him or to meet him.
wont be meeting him in the afternoon tmr too cos he has to go for the grad shoot with his sis.
will most prb meet him at night only.
if i have some time, i might pop by town for awhile to check out mom's pressie.
yes, i havent chosen the dinner venue yet.
need to decide sooon!

okok going back to doing my own stuff.
more updates with pictures soon.
i know its been boring with just text.
shall try to take pics tmr.
till then, enjoy your weekends peeps! :)

shopfanatic.

2011-05-17T22:28:00.003+08:00

ive been clicking the 'buy' button like nobody's business.
and you dont wanna know how many items i got last week. haha.
i stopped kuang shopping for awhile.
a month or 2, i would say.
but im back to it again :p
not a good thing, but i cant control! lol.
i seriously think i have a shopping diesease.
no idea what it's called but yes, when i start, i cant stop.
i almost clicked 'buy' on something just now.
then i remembered that theres a launch tmr that im dying to get almost everything.
hahaha. so yeap, i cancelled my order.
but yes, i'll be spending again tmr.
i guess thats where i derive all my joy from.

ok i just wanted to blog about this.
because i think my spending's getting out of hand again. lol.
nonetheless, dont stop me k?
i just feel like kaung shopping this month.
:PpPp

on leaveeee!

2011-05-16T00:10:00.002+08:00

blogging at this hour, because im on leaveee tmr! :)
first offday in 5 months exactly.
its amazing how far this journey has brought me.
well, i hope to go even further :)

i had been in an irritable mood this week.
i guess its the stress that made me react this way.
many things in my head throughout.
balancing the new role with my individual numbers and the bigger accounts.
hadnt been easy and i can foresee more challenges ahead.
but i guess this will help me to learn much more.
i really wish to excel here now that ive chosen my path :)

friday night was spent having dinner & drinks with my colleagues.
the kind of work lifestyle i always wanted but never had, until i joined here.
im glad for it, just that im spending much more too. haha.
went to overeasy for the first time.
place was great just that the weather was too hot to tahan that long there.
left at 1ish and headed home to work on a proposal.
only managed to sleep at 4ish am and i got a wrong number calling me at 530am. grrr.
that uncle has been calling me since months ago.
naturally i got pissed.
because who the hells calls a wrong number at that hour?
and yea, he called me the entire of saturday too.
which spoilt my mood badly.
darl ended up scolding him and warning him.
i seriously hope he'll stop calling.
anw, headed down town on saturday.
late lunch and some shopping before meeting elaine and ed.
had dinner at sho teppan.
i like the sukiyaki/shabushabu there! because its the same as sukiya.
super filling dinner but we ended up having icecream right after. haha.
and not forgetting the free pizza for supper.
we always end up eating alot with that couple. lol.
mahjong at my place after that and lady luck wasnt really with me.
was kinda moody haflway through too as i guess my mind was thinking yet again.
its been like that the entire week. sigh.
anw, sunday was spent nuaing at home with darl.
mom cooked lunch/dinner so we just stayed home to watch tv.
havent been spending much time alone with darl lately.
hes been really busy at work :(
just hope we can spend more time together.

no plans for tmr actually, though im on leave.
i basically took leave to nua. hahaha.
ive been lazy lately.
because my job's too tiring.
tried packing my clothes again just now.
realised that i do so very often now because i keep messing them up. haha.
wanted to plan my outfit for the week.
but somehow i feel that my clothes are boring once again. lol.
ive been buying alot lately but i just cant seem to find anything to wear :(
my bad habit. yes. hais.
and yes, ive bee spending like nobody's business lately.
i need to have some self control :(
but shopping makes me happy!
haha ok ignore me.

alrighty, i'll go back to packing my clothes.
and hopefully be able to pick 3 combi for the week.
have a great week peeps!

disturbed.

2011-05-10T23:25:00.003+08:00

i blog, because sometimes i feel i dont have anyone to talk to.
i may be talking about the thoughts in my mind, but i know no one understands.
or maybe no one bothers to understand.

i feel very disturbed today.
by many things.
of which, some lies within the challenges of my new role.
and it all boils down to people relations again.
i know i have become someone else these 2 years.
because i changed my temper, took things lightly and tried to be as easy going as possible.
true enough, it made me alot more new friends.
and life got smoother for me.
i wish to maintain that nonetheless.
yet i know it has caused me to lose a part of myself too.
the part where i had a very strong character, i could lead and i only did what i thought was right.
and for sure, i would never be a hypocrite before.
but now, i know i am one every single day when i meet people, especially with my merchants.
because thats the nature of my job.
and i dont have a choice.
i could maintain status quo all the way if i remained just being an executive.
but i realised, with this new role, i somehow needed to be who i used to be.
only then am i able to lead in a better way.
because i feel that im too nice and easy going now.
which is actually starting to not do me any good.
i dont wish to go into details but yes, i feel a need to revert back.
also, im disturbed when i start realising that people are taking advantage of my trust for them.
i trust them, so i tell them everything honestly.
my merchant commented recently that im very naive.
which i totally agree now.
i believe people too easily and i trust them too much.
but now i realised, most of them have motives behind.
especially when they ask more than what they should know.
its disappointing to know their true side.
but i guess i can only blame myself for trusting too much.
i feel distrubed for alot more things.
such as darling going to jb impromptu-ly last night.
no idea why but i realised i dislike last minute decisions.
sorry for feeling this way, but i just dont like it.

maybe its the weather but i get irritated very easily these couple of days.
and also, the added responsibilites are making me stressed.
i dont know when i'll feel better.
but i really hope i can get the understanding of my closed ones.

alright, im heading to bed already.
i dont wish to think further.
good night peeps.

reality.

2011-05-08T22:00:00.002+08:00

i havent blogged in awhile.
i've got a lot to talk about.
but somehow i cant seem to translate it in writing properly these days :(
i'll try today, hopefully whatever i write makes sense and not be full of ambiguity.

many things have been happening for me lately.
so much that im filled with mixed emotions everyday.
i'll talk about work first.
remember i mentioned that i made a decision already previously?
well, the fact is i wavered again.
i felt alot of uncertainty so i was confused yet again.
spoke to many people but i still couldnt convince myself to take it up.
i was thinking about it everyday.
till last week when i finally decided to speak to my boss about it.
had a better idea of what i am going into and the responsibilities required.
and i finally decided to take it up.
i just had to because it will definitely bring me to a higher level in future.
but with that, i know there are going to be alot of changes for me now at work.
the challenges are plentiful which im feeling afraid actually.
just like this weekend, my hp kept beeping.
smses from my boss about work - something i never liked but i gotta get used to it.
its nothing negative but its just the additional commitment i need to put in from now on.
also, im no more just an executive on the ground.
i need to be seeing things from a mgt point of view.
things will be different from this week onwards.
i know im not ready so i dont know if im up to it.
but i need to try and put in my best for these few months at least.
i hope god can grant me the strength during this period.
i know it will be tough so i hope the people around me can support me throughout.
this support really means alot to me.

there are many other things happening in my life now.
i just hope that it'll all be worth it after 1 year.
im giving myself a year, to achieve all that i need for a better future.
wish me luck yea?

ok enough of the heavy topics for the past few entries.
i just wanna recap on the past few weekends :)
darl was away last week so i merely spent the weekend watching dvds.
i love watching taiwan dramas because it always brings me back to the feeling of falling in love all over again. haha.
i miss this feeling.
(darling, did you hear that? lol!)
yaya, anw i was watching xia yi zhan, xing fu :)
nice show and it reminds me of why i used to like vanness. haha.
i think he acts pretty well :p
ok but this show caused me a serious lack of sleep everynight. hahaha.
cos i was trying real hard to complete the show within 1 week.
well, i managed to do so but i feel like a panda everyday. :(
i admit im getting old now.
just feel so tired everyday.
especially my foot :(
talking about which, i finally bought a foot massager!
osim ufoot.
cost me quite abit but im sure its going to be worth it :)
its also the only that i bought to reward myself.
wanted to get many other things.
prada, loewe bag, bvlgari ring, etc.
but all these cost a bomb :(
so i need to shelve it aside first.
guess its more impt to save up now.
i wanna go for a trip soon too.
anywhere that has a theme park.
cos thats the only place that i can feel like a kid all over again.
can i go soon? :(
sigh. i havent travelled for the past 3yrs?
this sucks. grrrr.
sighhhhh.
okok lets stop talking about it or i'll feel even more upset.

alrighty, its monday again tmr.
i dont know what the week brings me but i'll be looking forward to the weekends again.
thats the only time where i feel the happiest.
good night peeps.

eventful week.

2011-04-24T21:35:00.003+08:00

been a busy week.
and coming home after midnight almost everyday.
dead tired but i appreciate the time spent with wonderful peeps :)
anw, decision made.
i decided to take up the offer but nothing's firmed up yet.
theres quite abit to go through first and we'll see how it progresses from there.
at least i can take this off my mind for awhile.

tuesday was spent having dinner with my colleague at sushi tei.
great company and great advice.
i would say its because of her, that i could finally make a decision.
her words were inspiring.
a pity she left the company already.
wednesday, impromtu decision for max brenner.
it was only just the 3 of us initially but ended up we had 9 of us!
i love how 'on' my colleagues can be. haha.
it was supposed to be dessert only but we ended up at queen & mangosteen for dinner and drinks :)
thursday, met up with cousin for dinner and chill out.
tried shoteppan and im so going to eat there more often.
love the sukiyaki, its actually the same as sukiya!
will bring darl there some other time.
couldnt wake up on friday, so i could only meet up with darl for awhile at nex.
headed home by dinner time as we had family dinner at bendemeer.
couldnt decide what to do thereafter so we just drove around for a car ride.
im happy just being able to spend time with him :)
had problems waking up on saturday too. haha.
went out for lunch and over to his grandparents' place for awhile.
and i had to head back to prepare for the company event at TAB.
was there early and everyone wasnt there yet! boo.
anw, had some drinks there and we went over to river valley for dinner.
and to clarke quay for more drinks.
darl joined us after that and we all hanged out till about 3am.
had an expensive porridge supper at oasis. haha.
nonetheless, i think i have very fun colleagues. lol.
am always thankful for them :)

yet another new week.
its amazing how time flies.
darl is flying to hk on wednesday.
boo. so going to miss him.
dont like how he travels so often.
but i guess i dont have a choice :(
ok, i need to chiong for the week again.
this mth's numbers are not that impressive.
hopefully i can pump it up and also for the following week.
till then, have a great week peeps!

so...

2011-04-18T22:57:00.003+08:00

what's the whole situation now?
seriously and honestly, i dunno.
i should be happy, theoreotically.
but, im just confused.
very confused in fact.
especially after im told to lead the team next week.
its not an official thing yet.
but, yes, somehow its the embarkment of this new phase.
which im just not ready for.
in fact, i havent given any answer yet.
because im still thinking.
i know my head wants it badly.
but my heart just disagrees badly too.
because the confidence level is almost 0.
i dont know how well can i do this.
i just dont feel passionate enough.
but then again, i know i need this stepping stone very badly.
because it paves my following path.
sigh.
i need a sign.
i guess i need to visit the temple soon.
maybe tomorrow.
yes, tomorrow it shall be.

anw, on the lighter note, i just came back from genting!
short getaway with darling which felt really good.
just that i wished we had more time to relax rather than gamble. haha.
it'll be gd if it's a 3d2n thingy, so that we can have more time to walk ard.
im dying badly for another holiday yet again.
but guess that needs to wait.
maybe we should do this monthly!
somewhere near each month.
but of course, i need to be earning this much every month first. haha.
im eggcited about planning our longer trip for the year.
darl told me to choose a date! most probably in august.
cant decide where to go yet but think australia or taiwan! :)
i really need this trip.

ok im feeling really tired.
havent slept well over the weekend.
need to recharge for the week!
gd night peeps.

opportunity.

2011-04-14T22:40:00.002+08:00

im very much in a dilemma now.
you know how i often grumble about my job, about how much i hate sales.
despite that, im happy in my company because of the wonderful people.
well..
now im in a bigger dilemma, because i was offered a career advancement opportunity.
an opportunity to lead a team.
yes, a sales team.
if only it's a marketing team, then i wouldnt be so vexed. haha.
anyway, nothing's been firmed up or anything.
besides, i seriously need to think if it's what i want.
i definitely want to be leading a team but i guess now the whole point here is that, i feel that it's still early because i've only been in sales for 4 months.
ive got alot more to learn.
so honestly, i dont know if im capable.
i guess i'll take the weekend to think about it.
hopefully i can have an answer to myself by monday.

anyway, im heading to genting tmr! :))
finally a short getaway.
i just need the rest.

seven years.

2011-04-12T22:21:00.002+08:00

=D

2011-04-08T22:21:00.003+08:00

it's frydayyyyyyyyy! pardon the fact that im high here because im actually dead tired. lol. always glad that the weekends' here :) finally time to rest and to blog. realised i havent blogged that frequently anymore. guess it just shows how tiring my job is. LOL. *excuses. today's our last day at vertex. finally out of ubi! and over to harbour front. monday's our first official day there. not sure if i'll like it there or not. but at least travelling will not be that much of a pain. especially when i miss my bus. lol. i wanted to take pics of the old office. but i forgot and left for appointment. lol. i wanted to head back to help pack but i realised it was pointless. plus my eyes were closing at 5.45pm. haha. so it's home sweeeet home fryday! :p anw, work's been... so-so. decided to put negative thoughts aside for awhile. money first i guess. kk. darl and i are pre-celebrating our 7th anniversary tmr! :)) no idea where yet but tentative plans are sentosa. uss and rws in particular. just a simple dinner and the $5 uss admission if we managed to get tix. really simple celebration this yr as i guess what's most impt is for us to spend time together. nothing else matters :) plus, we gotta save money for our hseeeee. hee. heading to genting next weekend! finally a getaway for me. its been quite awhile. ive been wanting a break for the longest time. ok not that long but 4 mths. haha. hope i'll feel more refresh after that :) mad craving for chocolate these 2 days. haha i think its pms. im so going to stock up my chocolate stash from hershey's tmr. probably filling a bottle to keep in office. hee. so many things i wanna put in office :p alrighty, im heading off to bed early today. mad tired. i promise i'll be back to blog with pictures soon. i know its been boring lately. haha. till then! :)

dread.

2011-04-03T22:59:00.005+08:00

premonday blues, i call it. cant help but feel draggy about it. i guess im starting to dread my job :( its been four months. a massive learning journey that started off pretty well. discovered that i actually had the ability to be a salesperson. met very nice bosses and colleagues around who are always there to help. encountering new challenges in every other merchant. but i guess, ultimately, i knew this is never what i wanted. never what i liked. it is all for the sake of money. so i guess thats why im dreading it so soon. the company's growing very rapidly. too rapid that i find it hard to breathe now. many things that i start to not agree with. yet i have to swallow it, just because i need to. im tired of what i do too. the constant calling, the long hours of walking around in the bloody hot sun. causing my skin to lao hua under the uv rays. the constant pimple popping on my face due to stress. the rejection from some asshole partners and the cockup stuff. im just tired. very tired :( sigh. soemtimes i ask myself, is money really worth all these that im going through? i dont know. i really dont know. ok on a lighter note, ive finally booked the tix for my genting trip. cant wait to get away. though i honestly wanted a further getwaway. but theres always money to think about, and my blardy targets. i thought of my dreams today again. of opening a blogshop. i really wish to do so, but it seems to be put on hold since forever. theres 1001 things to think about. well, money being the first factor again. grrrr. can i just strike 1 million dollars? then im sure i'll leave this job. sigh. okok i should stop being so emo. next monday's our 7th anniversary :) wanted to celebrate it in genting but our trip was pushed to the following week. so i guess we'll just have a simple dinner on this saturday. how time flies. 7 years with darling :) still love everything about him. hee. ok bedtime soon. monday in 30mins time. boooo. its april again, the whole chase starts again. grrrr.

understatement.

2011-03-30T22:04:00.003+08:00

being tired is always an understatement. i feel very zombie-fied everyday. especially when i walk around aimlessly to pass time. really. the weather was godamn hot today. which made me even more exhausted. it was till the extent that i really wanted to just sit on the floor as there were no seats around. sigh. ive been struggling since day 1. just that it has much lesser meaning lately. because theres no goal in me somehow. of course im glad to make more money. but the motivation just aint there anymore. i dont know how long more can i last. im hoping for 1 year. but i know deep down that even till june seems a problem. sigh. i dont know what to do.

lost.

2011-03-27T22:42:00.005+08:00

i havent been in the best of moods lately.
and i admit, i flare up much easily.
i just feel lost again. about many things.
and i just dont know what to do.
im pissed at this moment too.
because i exceeded my transportation allowance.
when its not even month-end yet.
grrrrr.
now i need to take bus for the next four days :(( sigh.
its still a love-hate rship for my job.
it's been cocking up lately though.
so i really dunno.

the past week was spent mainly with friends. because darl was busy.
met up with my poly buds for dinner on tuesday.
feels good meeting up with them.
dinner at asian kitchen again.
i think im addicted to it. lol :p
movie with perps on thursday.
red riding hood.
i thought it was a horror movie.
but nah, more like werewolves and demons.
so it was pretty ok.
dinner and drinks with colleagues on friday.
we jio-ed alot of people.
but ended up only having 7 in the end. haha.
enjoyed spending time with them.
makes all the stress go away each time as we're all very much in the same boat.
we're planning for prawning next time! :)
finally met darl yesterday.
headed over to my godparents' chalet.
didnt do much other than bbq and mahjonging.
but was mad tired by night time, so we headed home.
i honestly dont have much energy these days.
i feel like ive aged 10 yrs already. sigh.

anw anw, on a lighter side, im getting a prada bag!!
well, never thought it would ever be on my list.
but i walked in one day after an appointment and tadah! love at first sight. LOL.
almost wanted to buy it on impulse, but decided to ask someone to help get from europe.
its way cheaper!
so im really eggcited about it. hee.
yes yes, im sucha spendthrift. b
ut the trade off here is this, if i get the bag, i need to stop buying clothes online for 1-2 months.
so this shall start in april.
i wanted to buy a dress just now, but i decided not to in the end.
think i should save this money.
ive got tonnes of clothes piling up.
having said that, i guess i need alot of determination.
haha because you all know my weakness lies in clothes.
so so, yah, pls constantly remind me k. :p

its a new week again tmr.
how time flies. its april soon.
where is my break?
i think i need to take leave soon.
i just feel really tired. sigh. s
omehow i wished its year end soon.

good night peeps.

satisfaction.

2011-03-18T22:09:00.004+08:00

ups and downs during the week.
but generally okay.
i realised its always the 1st 2 weeks of the month that sucks.
the rest, still manageable.
i hope. lol.

its been a tiring week though.
the least that ive been in office so far.
though i get to wake up later, but i just feel ALOT more tired.
i guess the travelling around is the key.
but anw, ive met many different characters this week.
some that amuses me, some that pisses me and some that make me smile.
let me share a little bit more with you since im a lil bored :p
anw, here's amusing customer no.1:
- worked with us previously, however, am very unhappy that she was so-called forced to press down her price, but still, she did it 3 times! lol. i mean, if you feel forced, would you even do it thrice? :p
- complained about our operations, editorial and almost everything under the sun, so i had to listen to about 1hr face-to-face and 15 mins of lecture on the phone. but, she is still keen to work with us again! haha! weird but of cos, good for me :)
amusing customer no.2:
- not being rude or racist here, but this customer of mine is an indian. so i spent half the time trying to understand if he's agreeing or disagreeing with me! i was seriously confused. lol
amusing customer no.3:
- i have no idea what's his position in the company since he has no namecard for me but hes very interesting. because one minute he says his sales is good, the next minute he says he gets alot of bad reviews for his place. LOL! very contradicting leh. and he thinks that the company should spend more money on staff rather than doing mktg. seriously, i didnt bother saying further because i know it'll never be possible to change such a person's thoughts. haha. im just amused that a young chap like him would still think this way.
ok and now, customer no.1 that pissed me:
- telling people of the same industry abt the special rate that i gave him, thus the rest are asking for it now. seriously, fck lah! im never going to compromise anymore!
customer no.2 that pissed me:
- changing their mind after signing the bloody agreement with me. i hate this totally lor. grrr. cant they think properly before agreeing? grrrr.
okok enough about the bad ones.
now here comes the good ones! :)
nice customer no.1:
- treated me teh and was totally sweet throughout the conversation :) kept to her word and reverted to me with a contract today! i like people who tell you that they'll revert to you by friday, and they really do so.
nice customer no.2:
- i spent close to an hour negotiating today. it wasnt an easy job and on normal cases, i would have dreaded it. but for today, i felt it was worth it. because i managed to build a working relationship with the person and he went the extra mile for me. he tried his best to help me fight for what i was asking for and although it failed in the end, i still appreciate the fact that he tried to help me. im very sure i pressured him very badly today. haha. he has his mgt to answer to, and so do i, but i guessed we've both helped one another along the way.
and its these kind of people whom i feel really happy working with :)

like ive always said, i find my job very tough.
because of the different kind of people i meet everyday.
there are the extremely nasty ones, the neutral ones and the damn nice ones.
so, my mood flauctuates according to the type.
and often, the bad is highly encountered rather than the good.
thats why i lose motivation very easily.
but then again, one of my colleagues asked my new colleague this question today,"what do you think makes you happy in this job?"
and i realised my answer for it is, "the satisfaction when i close deals and build gd rships with my customers."
its a satisfaction that makes a HUGE difference to my day whenever i achieve it.
because its something that looks simple yet hard to achieve.
ive always said, ive never seen myself as a salesperson.
never thought i could do sales.
but this job has proved me otherwise.
though i still dislike doing sales, but i must say that it has definitely brought me to another level of learning.
so yeap, i just have to keep reminding myself that whenever i feel like giving up. haha.
yes yes, i have a love-hate rship for my job :p
i guess everyone else faces the same thing, right? LOL!

okok i need to cut down on work entries.
but abit hard lah, since my life now revolves around work and work only. lol.
of course i still have my personal life with darling and my friends.
and ive been blogging about it whenever i can.
but i guess work just seems to affect me the most now.
i can only hope i can adapt to it soon :)

oh oh, i forgot to say, T.G.I.F!!!
i love fridays.
regardless of how good or bad it is.
because its finally the weekends! and i can spend time with darling :)
both of us have been so busy.
i just wished we had more time together.
anw, we're planning for a genting trip!
just need to breathe a different air for awhile. lol.
cant wait! :p

okok im ending this entry soon.
very tired suddenly.
and oh i realised i havent been posting up pictures.
so my posts gets more boring.
well, i havent been taking much too.
and im really lazy.
just view from my fb k? haha.
alrighty, good night peeps!
have a great weekend ahead :))

friday night

2011-03-12T00:48:00.003+08:00

TGIF!
fridays are total love.
regardless of how good or bad the day is.
im just happy that weekends are here :)

stressful week yet again.
my face tells it all.
pimples are popping up like crazy. literally.
seriously, how do people work so hard, yet still look good?
i need to work harder on this.
anyway, dinner + drinks with my colleagues again just now!
just 3 of us this week but it definitely feels relaxing.
ive always like the idea of chilling after work.
like having drinks and such.
but it hardly happened when i was with fc and amex.
so its really amazing that its happening now.
once again, i appreciate these colleagues around me.
makes work doubly fun!
cant wait for the new office in april! :)

i cant wait for tmr too!
brekkie at keppel bay with cup, ape and ringo!
its been such a long while since we all met.
especially ape! miss her much :)
just that, waking up at 7am tmr seems to be a pain. haha.
but still, i thik tmr's going to be a damn fun day! :p
meeting darling in the afternoon too.
havent seen him the entire week.
the biggest con of having no more transportation :(
not that easy for either of us to pop by each other's place too because our working locations are practically east and west.
so travelling to work becomes a pain.
but i guess it'll be much better when i move over to harbour front.
hopefully my office allows me to head to work at 8ish.
then staying over darl's place will seem more feasible.
we definitely need to work out on meeting more often.
ok darling?

alrighty, i need to head to bed soon.
or else i cant wake up on time tmr.
have a great weekend peeps!
and continue wishing me luck for the following week.
ciao.

grrrr

2011-03-07T22:26:00.002+08:00

i need to stop feeling depressed.
really.
i feel like shyt every monday.
and its always monday that i ask myself, why the fck did i get myself into this?
why did i choose sales of all things?
seriously, someone tell me why can?

all these negative thoughts just keep accumulating.
i feel like im on the verge of giving up yet again.
grrrrr.
can i just sign like 5 deals this week so that i can stop feeling pissed with myself?
sigh.
i hate my job!
but i like the people and the enviornment.
why must it always be like that?
sigh.

i need more motivation yet again.

thank u for standing by me.

2011-03-06T21:05:00.003+08:00

falling sick on a weekend isnt one of the best things to happen.
i just feel really lerthagic every moment :(
i hope i'll get better tmr.
honestly cant afford to fall sick at this time.
anw, ive got alot to blog.
but being unwell makes me a little moodless.
i'll try nonetheless.

im sure everyone here knows how bad my week was.
well, it was really the bottom for me in this past 3 months.
stress was to the limit.
i could barely breathe.
i became really absent minded.
i left home without my laptop TWICE.
twice in a week is alot. because ive never forgotten once in 3 mths.
sigh. im really glad the week is over.
friday was a mad rush for me.
but its always TGIF!
dinner at tango's with colleagues right after work.
which definitely made my week much better.
there were food, drinks, desserts, music, and fun.
but of course, i missed darling.
because he was supposedly in china for the weekend.
then i received a call from him.
that silly boy told me that he didnt leave for china.
he stayed in sg because he was worried for me.
i felt really confused at that moment.
really.
because i was touched by what he did.
yet i didnt really know how to express it.
nonetheless, i really appreciate what he did.
because he made me realised how much he has really changed.
and i could feel how much i meant to him.
"thank you darling.
thank you for not leaving me behind again when i needed you most."
i feel really bad that i couldnt really accompany him this weekend.
because im feeling unwell.
and i honestly do not have the strength to be moving around.
but still, im glad hes with me this weekend.
though i didnt say much, but this action meant alot to me.
really :)
"just wanted to say, i know this period of time will be very tough for us.
but i guess, as long as we have one another, it makes everything a lot easier.
and most importantly, we know it will be worth it in future.
i will continue striving for our future and i hope you can always be there for me.
i love you a lot darling."

i hope this week will be a much better week for me.
i need to jia you!
alright, i shall go get some rest now.
good night.

stressed.

2011-03-02T23:15:00.002+08:00

it gets better.
and then its gets worst.
apparently im still very much on a rollercoaster ride.

it has STILL been a tough week.
because of many things.
but mainly, i guess ive lost focus.
abit too soon but i just cant help it.
ive no motivation once again, to pursue anything.
i just.. feel tired.
i dont know if its the stress that im inflicting to myself.
or it is indeed that without passion, there is no way i can push myself.
i dont know. i really dont.

i found out alot of things today.
which made me look at things differently once again.
and doubts just keep appearing.
i try very hard to stay positive.
but, im just tired.
and maybe because it has been a tough week.
my patience has dropped drastically.
thats why i snap at darl much easily now.
i know hes going through a hard time too.
i want to be more understanding.
but i really cant now.
the stress is just getting to me.
i feel like crying every single minute.
sigh.

maybe i need a travel break.
maybe.

passion-less

2011-02-28T22:58:00.002+08:00

every beginning of the month is a dread.
really.
i literally wanna jump down sometimes.
ok, maybe thats a little too exaggerated.
but i always hate how i feel at the beginning.
the stress is just unbearable at times.
especially when my merchants cock up on me.

i got down thinking today.
to think about the stress.
what is it all about?
i guess its mainly made up of the eagerness to save money for several things.
1. house
2. wedding
3. chanel bag(s)
4. a comfortable life ahead
you all know how much i want a perfect wedding dinner + home.
a solemnisation at the beach or somewhere outdoor with the prettiest set up.
the banquet at a 5star ballroom (or an outdoor space), with a themed wedding.
a home with a walk-in wardobe, with modern contemporary design.
and of course, all these come with a heavy price tag.
i guess thats why the stress level is to the peak now.
because i need to earn enough by 2013.
and now the problem lies with, can i even tahan till then?
im only 3 months in my job.
but the stress makes it feel like its forever.
i shall emphasize again.
the stress is there because i dislike what im doing.
so i find it really hard to balance my thoughts.
if i like what im doing, theres every motivation to keep me going on.
but because of the dislike, sometime i find no reason to carry on.
other than because of money.
but the qn here now again is, can i really ONLY work for money?
i know thats the reason why all of us are working.
but then again, dont you agree that its pointless living a life doing things just for the sake of money?
what happened to passion?
yes, im questioning myself every minute.
sigh.
i need to sort this all out by june too.

pardon the ranting every now and then.
i just need an outlet as usual.
the past 2 weeks havent been great.
so i just need to find the strength to carry on each time.
once again, im thankful for the wonderful colleagues i have.
they have been constantly there for me.
i really appreciate every single person in my company.
how they have helped me and how they have made my day during shitty moments.
and they are probably the reason why im hanging on.
really.
thats how important an environment really is to me.

i should head to bed soon.
hope tmr will be a better day.

fridays and me.

2011-02-25T22:15:00.002+08:00

fridays are often 'me' time.
where i shut my mind off work, and do whatever that pleases me.
its been a bad and tiring week though.
so am pretty glad that its almost over.
and on the much much lighter note, paycheck is in!
which also means its hobby time! - shopping. hahaha :p
ok lah, ive shopped enough.
so ive actually not put aside money for me to spend on anything.
intend to save more this month.
but still, theres definitely spare cash for small items :)
in fact, ive alreayd bought quite abit this week. lol.
cant blame me when i have spare time in between appointment =x
got myself a book from borders - outliers.
heard pretty much about the book so i decided to get it.
was choosing between blink and that, i ended choosing the more popular one. haha.
its really rare that im getting a non-fiction book and of cos i cant judge by the covers.
so i had to judge by its popularity.
havent read it yet but maybe i'll save it for later in the night.
got for myself OPI nail polish too just now.
ive heard so much about it but im nvr someone who would spend on such stuff.
i remb my max being only 10bucks.
but i saw it at $12.90 (U.P $23.90) at chinatown today, so i decided to try!
and im a convert now because its really good!
definitely worth the money.
im so going to stop buying from skinfood, because this is wayyyyy better. haha.
i so wanna buy somemore tmr.
but no, im not going to pay $23.90 for it.
so i'll only get it when im in chinatown again some other day :p scrooge hur? haha.
been spending alot on skincare too.
got my bliss's and eucerin's eye cream.
dont ask me why i ended up buying 2. haha.
well, ok lah, because i realised both treats 2 different things.
and im always impatient.
thats why im trying both at the same time now :p
apparently i prefer eucerin much better.
but we'll see.. see which works better after 1 month.

anw, today's a pretty productive day.
despite a bad week, its definitely more productive than last week.
its almost the end of feb.
now that the battle for feb is completed, its time to start worrying about mar.
the cycle never ends.
guess thats the only thing im tired about.
ive been very stressed lately.
pimples popping up crazily now. at least 4 or 5 on my face now.
i really hope this is just because its still the initial stage.
its been 2.5 mths in the job already.
am getting used to it but still on the fence at times.
my colleagues have been very encouraging.
so i guess thats why im holding on still.
and not forgetting the paycheck thats keeping me there too.
i just need to settle in more comfortably first.

had quite abit of tiffs with darling the past few days.
thats why this week hasnt been easy.
or rather i should say, growing up isnt easy.
planning for our future is definitely challenging yet important.
theres a lot of things that we need to think about now.
considering the fact that we plan to get married in 2 years.
however, we've got no concrete plan out yet.
thats why sometimes everything just gets insecure and frustrating.
i really hope we can settle this soon so at least we'll know of the direction we're taking.
and making it a common goal for us to achieve in 2 yrs.

i mentioned earlier that i might wanna read my book.
but a fact of matter is that im already sleepy. haha.
and i dont seem to have much to do online now.
especially when i cant seem to log onto msn.
ok i'll try to hang on a while more since its friday.
say hello to weekends! :)

spendthrift.

2011-02-20T22:32:00.003+08:00

im overspending.
period.
i hate to admit this but when i start to do my math, i think my expenditure this month is madness.
minus the cab fares i have to bear first for work, ive been spending alot on big items.
such as,
1. my S95 - 600bucks.
2. coffee machine for mom - 200bucks.
thats enough to make my bank account bleed :(
not forgetting skincare now, because of my ageing face. double boo :((((
and of course, my usual spending on clothes/shoes/bag.
i need to stop.
either that or i need to work harder. sigh.
but this month's pretty tough.
am struggling with the mad rush of appointments, yet unproductive numbers.
so i think i should just spend lesser.
i hope my bank account recovers after 28th feb.
1 more big item which is darl's teevee.
and i'll stop spending from then. hopefully.
i still gotta save up for my CC!!
can i hit 16 this month?
sigh.

okok enough about money matters.
always feel dejected when talking about it.
anyway, i caught 2 movies this weekend.
black swan with perps.
and just go for it with darl. (hmm, is that even the title? lol. my brain is not remembering things lately.)
both movies were pretty good.
so at least i feel my weekend's quite fulfilling.
and of course, im happy just spending time with the boyf.
went shopping for skincare products.
as mentioned earlier, im in bad need for ageing products.
hitting 25 is the worst thing ever.
because thats when u start to age tremendously :(
so yes, thats why i need help badly.
but then again, all these cost ALOT of money.
im trying to convince myself that its worth the investment.
so yes, im heading to bliss tmr to get some products.
hopefully its the right investment.
heard alot about bliss.
am very interested in la mer too but the price is disgusting.
so no way for now.
probably wait till i earn at least 7k and above a month. LOL.
why must women require such investment? and men dont need to.
super unfair right? haha.
darling, you're looking like an old man too! hmph! :p

monday again tmr.
i dont know when im having monday blues lately.
i do not dread going to work.
i just dread the pressure every monday.
booooooo.
i need the strength to hit 16 this month!
jia you!!!

TGIF!

2011-02-19T00:26:00.003+08:00

super unproductive week.
im pissed with myself and with the merchants.
im sooo tired this week that i really feel like putting up the white flag.
but yes, i know i cant.

im just thankful that its finally fryday!
im so going to rest well during the weekends.

confirmation

2011-02-15T23:12:00.002+08:00

just wanted to share something happy, though im dead tired.
ive been confirmed! :))
and i like my new title! though i know its just for cosmetic sake. LOL.
but still.. let me be happy for a couple of moments k? :p

ok im dead tired now.
its been a long day with sales training at 630pm - 9pm.
i gotta head the sack soon and recharge!
longer day tmr!
good night!

new buys.

2011-02-14T00:15:00.005+08:00

and all my boyfriend cares about now is his iphone!
hmph! i am super jealous can?
he checks his phone 100x more often than he checks me out.
im serious.
pui! dunch like you!

boyf bought his iphone on saturday.
pretty impromptu buy though he has been wanting to buy.
but his plan wasnt up so he had been waiting.
and he decided to get it on saturday when we went to amk hub.
with just 70bucks and the most expensive plan, he got an iphone4 32gb.
and yes, hes been glued to it since then. grrrrr.
on a happier note, i have a new buy too.
my canon S95!!
yes, its like finally too!
been wanting to get it since last last year, when it was still S90.
good that i waited cos S95 is way better than S90 :p
am in love with the pics i took today! :))
but nope, im not obsessed with it as much as how darl is obsessed with his iphone.
hmph once again!
hosted my friends over at my place on saturday too.
steamboat, mahjong, card games.
won abit from there so not that bad, since i already lost 600bucks from my S95. haha.

went to flower festival today at sentosa.
weather was damn hot.
but im glad i didnt missed it at least.
because the rabbits were quite cute.
took quite abit of photos. all uploaded on fb.
so check it out there.

alrighty, im heading to bed soon.
been feeling giddy since friday.
monday's here again.
need to jia you for the week. sigh.
anyway, happy valentine's day everyone!

sales vs marketing.

2011-02-10T23:11:00.003+08:00

i used to think that marketing is probably one of the shittiest jobs around.
since you have to do every single shit just to run 1 promotion.
work longer hours than anyone else in the office.
and you're liable for any single mistake made.
or even when the color of the poster is wrong.
not forgetting climbing in storerooms to pack collaterals.
well, but at least theres a lot of pride when the work's well done.
and you get to take a rest at the end of 1 promotion.
though the next headache comes when there's the next promotion.
still, at least theres rest time in between.
now, i think sales is probably a shittier job than marketing.
purely due to 2 main reasons.
1. your day depends on the type of merchants you get. and sometimes you get scolded/insulted by them even when you've done nothing wrong. be waiting like a fool when they stood you up.
2. you need to achieve numbers EVERY single day. the minute you dont, out you go.
so tell me, are these good enough reasons as why sales is much shittier?

i cant describe the stress im undergoing now.
but to be honest, im really struggling mentally each day.
struggling to stay positive, to be motivated and to hold on to this job.
besides, i need to keep the people around me motivated too.
because all of us are equally stressed and we need one another's support.
these 2 months have been really tough :(
it makes it worst when ive been going home late.
besides, i know darl is undergoing alot of stress too.
different kind of stress from me but still, its stress.
both of us havent been spending much time together too.
because we hardly have any time.
even when we have, we're both just tired.
but regardless of how tired we are, we still have a relationship to maintain.
thats why im trying very hard to keep a balance.
like finding ways to meet up with him whenever im near his workplace/hse or whenever possible.
i really hope we can spend more quality time together. sigh.
and although valentine's day is just a few days away, we've zero plans of celebrating it.
wanted a simple dinner on monday but ive just been told today that theres training after work.
was really sian x 10 when i heard that.
but i dont have a choice because its work.
so i thought i could perhaps meet darl for dinner on tuesday, but, i end up having a 7pm meeting. double sian x 10.
we cant do it over the weekends too because we're still celebrating cny so am having dinner gatherings on both days already. triple sian x 10.
then i thought tmr would be a good day since i'll be off work after a 4.30pm appt.
and we can perhaps go for sushi tei dinner and ktv.
but well, darl might have to work late tmr. so thats infinity sian x 10. :(
dont get me wrong, im not complaining.
im just trying to express my disappointment due to all these unforseen circumstances.
so i guess thats the reason why i just lose motivation so easily eact time.
because i realised theres quite alot of sacrifices in exchange for the $$ im getting.
but well, once again, i chose this path.
but as ive said before, im not too sure if this is the right path for me.
i need time to tell.
6 months it will be. for me to decide if this is what i really want to do.
sigh.
i really need a way to de-stress :(

anyway, just wanted to say this darl:
i know we're both working very hard now for the sake of our future.
thats why im holding on real hard, and i believe you are too.
it may be very tough now, but as long as we have one another, i guess it's good enough.
im always here when you need someone and i hope you'e always there when i need the suppport too.
no matter how tough it is, im sure we can go through this together.
so let's jia you k! love you :)

ok im feeling really tired from all that busy-ness today.
i hope tomorrow will be a better day.
good night.
TGIF!

exhausted.

2011-02-09T22:38:00.004+08:00

im still experiencing post-cny shagness.
my eyelids cant seem to stay open every day.
plus, i look extremely tired regardless of how hard i try to open my eyes wide.
eyeliner didnt help much. boo.

anyway, had lunch with darling today.
because i was over at clementi area.
went over to his workplace to do some work too as i needed a powerpoint badly.
my lappie is useless lah. battery dies off in less than 2hrs? :(
over to killiney thereafter for a meeting and i had 3hrs to stone till my next meeting. haha.
did some work at coffeebean orchard central but as usual, my batt didnt last me.
so i ended up walking around town.
very boring because, i was in town on tuesday too.
and i totally dislike it when i enter all the branded boutiques and my lemming just gets higher. haha.
im eyeing a kate spade and cole haan bag now.
but what i really want is the chanel 2.55 jumbo :(
to make it worst, i am wanting both the black AND the beige. hahaha.
the beige is mad love but its harder to match my clothings as compared to the classic black.
so, im in a dilemma once again.
but i think i'll get a different series if i ever intend to get both colors. LOL.
so i need to start earning the money now!

frustrated.

2011-02-06T23:12:00.005+08:00

firstly, happy new year everyone!
but i guess my title spells it all.
ive been feeling frustrated since day 1.
no idea why though.
perhaps i havent been getting a good rest lately.
all thanks to my new pillow. grrr.
and sadly, its monday tmr already :(
its also time to wake up to reality.
to start working hard and chiong all the way already.
but i just feel so tired even before i start. sigh.
and thanks to darl's boss who mentioned that i have aged alot since a few months back.
i wont deny that.
because its a cruel fact somehow.
i cringe everytime i look back at my old pics.
sigh.
cant help it when i feel that my back is getting heavier each time.
with more responsibilities and commitment :(

okok peekture time before i get more frustrated.

new clothes!

2011-02-02T16:28:00.003+08:00

the chosen ones :p
(pardon me for some repetitive pictures.)

cny ♥

2011-02-01T22:50:00.002+08:00

in love with these 2 outfits! :)

though i seemed to have bought many new clothes for cny, i think i only have a handful that im really happy with. haha.
so the above goes to that list :p
mad love with that pleated skirt on the right.
went over to bonito's warehouse this afternoon to collect it.
cabbed down from my last appointment at ecp.
thankfully the rain stopped.
their warehouse was at kallang pudding road.
didnt get to see the interior but it definitely looks big.
and the girls are really very sweet and sincere.
thumbs up for their cs!
left their warehouse and checked on the items.
there was a slight defect on apple's shoes so i turned back to get an exchange.
viola was totally helpful and sweet in helping me carry the box while i check as i was holding alot of barang barang.
went home thereafter and my arms are aching now.
i was carrying:
- my laptop
- 1 paperbag with my maxi skirt
- 1 paperbag with my heels
- 1 paperbag with apple's heels
- my heavy handbag with a bag of clothes inside + my lappie charger
yes, my arms are that weak. haha.
but still, i managed to take a bus home instead of cabbing again.
taxis are my common form of transport lately, regardless of it being claimable or not =x

long day outside today.
thankfully the rain wasnt that bad.
but still, i dislike it.
because it makes my shoes damn wet. owells.
supposed to have half day tmr.
but now its till 4pm. boo.
wanted to have lunch with boyf since hes off tmr.
but gotta cancel it.
so i can only see him on thursday.
how time flies.
its cny eve tmr already! :)
cant wait for the long weekend!

anw bed time now!
good night peeps!

pre-cny.

2011-01-30T23:46:00.002+08:00

im eggcited about cny.
are you too? :))
although its been a mad rush for me, especially when it comes to buying nian-huo and spring cleaning, im glad its all finally done.
now, im just waiting for cny to come! :p

friday:
met sherry dear for lunch at asian kitchen.
but i was badly stucked in a jam for 30mins.
so i had very little time for lunch (cos i sneaked out of ofc. haha)
plus i needed to rush over to bras basah to collect my clothes.
so it was really a mad rush for me.
not forgetting, there was a damn big downpour :(
so i was drenched and i couldnt get a cab back. sians.
thankfully, my day ended off well.
went over to darl's place after work and headed over to woodlands/senoko to visit fragrance's and bee cheng hiang's factory outlet with his mom and aunt.
bought quite abit of goodies and my damn cute sweets! lol.
they're all in the shape of animals. mad love!
office has the one in fruits and ive been koping to eat it every now and then. lol.
im so glad i found it at fragrance :)
we decided to head over to chinatown after that.
managed to only have dinner at 10ish pm.
and it was raining :(
but luckily it stopped and we managed to walk around after that.
didnt get anything but at least it put me in the cny mood. haha.

saturday:
darl sent me home first as he had his dental appointment at 12ish pm.
and i wanted to head home to do some spring cleaning.
managed to do quite abit in about 2hrs plus.
so im very satisfied with my rooms now :)
i remb saying that i wanna skip spring cleaning this year.
but i guess i managed to squeeze some time to clean up a bit.
headed to marina/suntec after that.
it was raining the whole day so we're very much stucked there.
darl managed to get his cny shirt.
and i got some lingerie for the new year.
this year's cny shopping is a breeze to me.
cos i need'nt squeeze with people and fretting over what clothes to buy.
haha, see why i love online shopping so much! :)
went over to mbs as darl wanted to bring me to chanel. hehe.
he wanted to get me the earrings for vday.
but the earrings were disappointing :(
not pretty one!
i believe theres another range but the salesgirl just lied. haha.
probably check out ngee ann city's branch instead.
and oh oh, i tried on the 2.55 bag.
mad love can?
but im veyr undecided about the color.
silver? or gold?
i wanted silver all along.
but boyf says gold is nicer and i think it looked better on me too.
so so, i really dunno.
but owells, i can think about it later since i dont have the money now. haha :p
anw, we decided to head over to giant after dinner.
but the rain was so heavy that darl had problems driving cos he couldnt see the roads.
luckily we managed to reach giant safely.
damn packed there but we got some misc stuff and it was home sweet home right after.
the poor boy wasnt feeling well too.
blame it on the rain!

sunday:
played mahjong with apple&ed.
managed to play 3 rounds and there was only 1 winner. haha.
ordered kfc for dinner as we needed to camp for bonito's launch! :p
plus it was raining the entire day!
managed to get my long awaited heels.
gotta head over to their warehouse to collect it on tuesday.
will probably do so after my 4.30pm appt.
i hope the shoes fit me fine :)

last week passed really fast.
i only had appts on tue and wed only.
so i spent most of the time in office. haha.
but oh wells, im just not in the mood to work =x
holiday period!
i honestly cant wait for this week.
plus i get to spend more time with darl :)
lately, we havent had much time for one another except for weekends.
2 very busy people. sigh.
but well, we're working hard for our future :p
i need to buy him his tv for vday. hahaha! silly boy.

alrighty, i need to wash up soon.
long day tmr again.
hope it doesnt rain like today.
im really sick of walking in the rain. booo.
rain rain go away! :p

good night!

walking in the rain.

2011-01-26T22:26:00.002+08:00

i think i sprained my ankle :(
it has been hurting since morning.
but i dont recall falling or twisting.
oh wait, maybe i did, in the midst of the rain today.
i was out the entire day for meetings.
and yes, it rained the entire day.
it is no easy feat to be carrying my barang barang + laptop, walking in the rain.
besides, i went to 4 different locations - central, tanjong pagar, orchard, chinatown.
all with a soaked feet.
needless to say, probably smelly too. haha.
but yes, it really sucks when the rain was damn big.
i had difficulties calling a cab even.
i wished i had a driving license.
honestly, all sales person should drive.
its a torture not to be driving, i feel. haha.

finally midweek.
cant wait for cny next week.
my brain's pretty shut off now.
preparing for the festive period.
and of course the loooong weekend :)
vday's coming up too.
but honestly, it almost slipped off my mind. haha.
ive been way too busy at work.
and i believe darl is too.
so lets just do a simple buffet dinner okies?
probably celebrate it earlier on the 12th? since its sat.
i realised, as i get older, i just want things simpler :p
i used to have lots of expectations.
but now, i guess im contented just being able to spend time with darl.
eh eh but that doesnt mean he can stop doing anything hor. haha.
still need the occasional surprises :p
anw, i havent thought of my vday dress yet.
ive got sooo many for cny that i cant decide when to wear what. hahaha.
still havent had time to camwhore all of them.
and ive got 2 that i need to collect from my tailor but i dont have the time to do so :(
hopefully i can sneak out on friday noon somehow. haha.

ok i need to go rub my leg.
it still hurts.
sigh.
thankfully i have no appts tmr :)
i really need a break.

rebonded.

2011-01-23T23:20:00.002+08:00

made a haircut appointment on friday.
but i ended up rebonding my hair :p
super impromptu decision. haha.
its a tad short and straight now, but im still glad i finally rebonded.
its been 2 whole years since i last had super straight hair lah.
am loving my hair :)
but oh, the impromptu decision made me a lil broke this month. haha.
and ive been spending quite abit.
yes, very bad habit whenever i know im having income =x
but ive got alot more stuff on my shopping list.
and i hope i can get them soon :p
1. chanel earrings
2. chanel 2.55 bag
3. canon S95
4. stevemadden/ninewest stiletto heels
cant remb what else is there offhand but yes, im working hard to get all those 4 items soon!

cny's coming.
but ive not done any spring cleaning.
not intending to do so too.
because i feel so tired whenever i reach home.
plus, the amt of things i have in both rooms is crazy.
so i shall just leave it as it is. haha.
my clothes are piling up too.
i just cant stop buying. seriously.
blame those blogshops for launching such pretty items everytime k. hahaha.
cny's collections are the killers. boo.
i hope i can safely skip the upcoming collections.
because i think i have more than enough clothes already. lol.
i just need 1 more pair of heels :p

yawns.
feeling damn tired already.
shall get ready for bed.
good night peeps!

emo.

2011-01-20T23:08:00.003+08:00

this week has been unmotivating.
i thought last week would have gotten my momentum going on further.
but, i just felt very tired suddenly.
because at the end of the day, other than money, i dont know what else am i doing this for.
i guess every close one who knows me out there, would know that i would give up money any time for my passion.
but this time ard, i gave my passion up for money.
so theres a lot of mindset tweaking to do.
which ive still not been able to set it right.
and thats why it bothers me every now and then.
i guess i need to overcome myself soon.
sigh.

that aside, ive been really grouchy this week.
mainly due to pms.
im losing patience too when it comes to people ranting at my ears non-stop.
and it gets damn tiring to be smiling and entertaining even when im brain dead.
sometimes i wished i could go back to the times where i could just shut myself off.
owells, zi bi er. haha.
okok its not that bad.
its just that i need time to adapt to everything still.

that aside again, i have alot of new clothes (not 15 sets k, lol)
BUT.. only a couple that im satisfied with :(
ive decided on my 3 main outfits for cny.
1 more to go, which im either going to dig out from my stack of clothes or, i might buy something else next week! lol.
the rest, is for work.
but i still think i have more casual dresses than work dresses :(
its damn hard to find work outfits for the petite me. boo.
alrighty, just 1 pic of my fave dress :)
love the color!

weekends.

2011-01-16T17:45:00.002+08:00

work stress aside, all's been good for me.
im glad there's pretty much a balance in work for me.
although i get pretty upset with nasty customers and crazy targets to hit.
but at least ive got wonderful people at work to put a smile on my face everytime.
the constant help and encouragement is what that makes me pull through :)
and i realised, sometimes, fate's always playing games with us.
remb how despressed i was because i didnt get calls for interviews and so on.
well, ive been getting a number of calls lately.
even for the job i really wanted previously.
and it caused me to struggle once again.
because i had to make a choice.
but well, i gave up those opportunities.
because i had already chosen this path.
i hope i did the right thing.

alright enough about work.
back to my weekends.
spent time with darl since friday.
and he was sweet enough to pick me up from work as i OT-ed till 9ish. hee.
he was supposed to meet his boss thereafter but silly him cancelled it so that i could stay over his place :)
woke up early on saturday morning and had a heavy brekkie at chongpang.
its amazing how i could spend 40bucks there while he was queuing at posb. haha.
headed over to ikea in the afternoon as darl wanted to get a new desk.
i bought some small rubbish again as usual. haha.
but oh, we went to both ikea in fact.
just for the sake of parking/carrying convenience. LOL!
yeap. headed to amk thereafter as i wanted to get the usb mobile broadband for work.
however, there were some prbs so postponed to get it next week instead :(
anw, caught Season of the witches with his friends after dinner at vivo.
not a show i will watch normally but its still ok lor. haha.
but yes, probably skippable still. :p

how time flies.
its sunday already.
did some work just now and nua-ing online, trying to look for sth to buy. haha.
itchy fingers :p
and oh, i just remembered that cny is approaching.
which means spring cleaning.
but honestly, im too lazy and i doubt i have time for both rooms.
im totally exhausted everytime i reach home :(
i need to sort out my cny dresses too.
ive been intending to send some for alteration.
but yes, lazy and no time again.
guess the priority now is to settle 4 outfits for the 4 days first.
probably will sort it out later at night.
no new bag, no new shoes this year.
ok shoes, yes, 1 nude pair and i might get another next week.
bag, havent found a suitable one yet so i might do without it.
lingerie, probably need to get some too.
ok i feel totally unprepared for cny this year.
its just tooo early. you think so?

alrighty, time to do some packing.
have a great week ahead!

upset.

2011-01-13T00:08:00.002+08:00

its been awhile since i felt this way.
feeling angry and upset.
to be honest, i cant remb when was the last time i got really angry and upset.
maybe a few months back.

today wasnt a good day.
morning wasnt that bad but my afternoon was totally spoilt.
esp when i had 2 rude people in a day.
1st, 'kup-ing' my phone before i could finish my sentence and the other one, making me wait for 1.5hrs without a single apology.
and of course, the worst part was shooting me with alot shyt and rejecting me.
this is when i start asking myself, do i deserve such disrespect?
well, of course not.
but still, there are such people around ALWAYS who disrespects the entire world.
blame my luck for meeting them today.
(but of course, i met nice people today too :)

anw, i tried brushing off the neg feelings.
but i realised im far too affected.
no idea why.
maybe because im just too stressed over my target this week.
ive been thinking about work non stop since last week.
even in my dreams.
every minute that im not doing work, im still thinking about work.
i havent enjoyed a tv show for the past few days.
my eyes are glued to the tv but my mind's just about deals.
i hate the fact that im adding so much stress to myself.
but i honestly cant help it.
because my performance mean alot to me.
i know im not cut out for sales.
thats why im working doubly hard.
but i have to admit, its been very tough.
and there are moments where i feel like giving up.
but once again, i know i cant and i dont really want to.
i just hope things will get better as i go along.
and i really hope to excel in it.
i guess all i need is time and the capability of balancing once again.

and i feel really bad just now brushing darl off when he talked about deals.
as much as i would love to share with him and i appreciate what hes doing, but i just didnt have the mood earlier on.
i just needed time off from work for that few secs.
to let my mind breathe.
i hope he can understand as i really didnt mean to react that way just now.
but i must really say, im really glad hes always been there for me.
to listen to my rants about work and all sorts.
sometimes i have no idea what im rattling about, but i just needed to talk to someone.
so im glad hes always been my listener.
but i must also admit, ive not been a good listener lately.
i know darling has his own prbs at work but i havent helped much :(
well, i just want him to know that im still always there for him if he needs someone.
i will try my best to listen and help him.
but just do bear with me for awhile now while i go through this adaptation period.
i promise i'll be back to normal after awhile :)

im looking forward to the weekends.
to spend all the time with him.
but i know hes very tired from his trip and work.
so ive not planned any programmes.
i guess we can just nua ard! :)

alrighty, i need to head to bed soon.
i hope tmr will be a better day.
good night peeps.

b.o.r.e.d

2011-01-09T21:23:00.002+08:00

when you see excessive blog entries, it simply means im DAMN bored.
haha and of course, without the boyf around :(
2 more days.
i know i can tahan!
btw, i realised when i have nothing to do and no one to talk to, i just keep thinking.
work has been on my mind since friday.
cant believe that i feel stressed even on weekends.
sigh :( i need the boyf soooo badly.

anw, i actually woke up at 8am today.
dun ask me why.
i really dont understand.
its always hard to drag myself up on weekdays, but on weekends, im awake that early. grrrr.
btw, my plan was to wake up at 9am instead.
as HH was launching.
but well, i was disappointed.
because my maxi got sold out within 1 min?
i was this close to carting it out, then the system told me its out of stock alr.
grrrr, i was very fast already can? cant believe there are soooo many fastest fingers around.
so anw, no maxi for me.
which may be a good thing, because ive no occasion to wear it other than cny.
but that maxi is really pretty :(
nvm. i need to quit buying every single thing i fancy.
which is very tough i must admit.
there was another launch at 12noon.
succumbed to that and got 2 items.
mainly for work.
so this buy seems much more justifiable as compared to the maxi. haha.
*trying very hard to convince myself that im not a shopaholic*
yes yes, i buy EVEN MORE when im bored.
so boyf, you need to spend more time with meeeee! lol :p

i miss that boy soooo badly.
i miss biting him.
i miss drinking bubble tea with him.
i miss punching his stomach.
i miss tickling this ear.
i miss everything of him :(
its only 3 days, but....
grrrrrrr.

okok anw, spent the day nua-ing today.
went dinner with parents and uncle jason&family.
had my favorite thai food!
but food wasnt that good today.
maybe because of the crowd.
think its much wiser to head down during weekdays.
oh and im craving for bak chor mee again. haha.
havent had it in awhile.
darling! *hint hint* lol.
i want my tampopo ramen too!
hee. many food cravings.

alrighty, its only 9ish but im sleepy already.
i slept early last night too.
old liao and very bored. haha.
i wont be slping that early tonight lah.
but will probably find stuff to do.
till then again..
gd night!

camwhore!

2011-01-08T23:12:00.008+08:00

mad bored today.
weekend without darling is :(
(darling, hear that? faster come back!!)
nonetheless, at least i could rest and camwhore today! hahaha :p
i realised i havent camwhored for about 1 mth? lol.
so many hidden 'gems' in my closet now.
and no chance to wear them all out yet.
did some ironing just now.
and sorting out some of my new clothes.
my cny clothes have actually been bought way long ago.
well, some were supposed to be for xmas but i never had the chance to wear it.
so it shall be for cny instead! haha.
alrighty, be prepared for a massive camwhore post :p
(ps/ ive still got more but i think the below is suffcient for today. lol!)

2o1o in a nutshell.

2011-01-08T00:34:00.004+08:00

finally some time to have a proper blog entry.
pls pardon my emo entry last night.
i was just .... stressed.
im glad things are better today :)

my day ended off late with work.
close to 830pm.
but my boss was nice enough to drive me to tanjong pagar for my 730pm meeting.
appreciate it loads! :)
i have wonderful colleagues who are always giving us (those without cars) rides to anywhere convenient for us.
and im highly thankful for that. hehe.
you dont get such nice people ard that often hur.
oh, anw i had an impromtu supper with ringo and mel.
they called me during my meeting and i decided to just drop by chompchomp to catch up.
the usual crapping from ringo and catching up with mel.
always feels good to catch up with close friends :)
anw, darl's away in china now.
so im spending the weekend nua-ing.
honestly need a damn good rest to chiong again next week.
pls help me to jia you! hahaha.

ok i should really do my 2o1o entry now.
just a really brief summary.
a few major things that happened this year.
1. left my prev bank job
2. jobless for quite awhile
3. taking up a sales job
i guess taking up a sales job is the biggest step ive ever taken all these years.
i still love marketing.
and i will always. haha.
but i guess im seeing this as a learning experience.
to be able to improve my PR skills and to widen my networking.
i know some ppl are disappointed that i am not pursuing mktg again.
well, i was disappointed initially too.
but then again, like i said, i just want to learn more while im young.
i'll definitely go back to mktg when it is the right time.
but for now, i just wanna earn more money for a better lifestyle ahead.
:)

ok i realised nothing else interesting had happened in 2010.
haha. boring life hur.
but well, im contented already.
been spending most of my time with darling.
and trying out a few new activities together like kiteflying, swimming, etc.
though most of our dates end up movies or shopping, or even mahjong, i just cherish every single moment i spend with him.
had a few hiccups during mid-year as he just started managing the company.
and he was undergoing lots of stress.
but im so glad we could resolve it without getting into humogous fights. haha.
i guess we have both learnt the importance of compromising.
or rather, its something i have finally learnt :)
am also thankful that hes been so supportive and been there all these while whenever i needed him.
appreciate the extra miles he take just to get me bubble tea, or even just to bring me to eat food that im craving.
how can i not love this boyf of mine? hehe.
anw, 2o1o had been easy to sail through all because of him.
thankiew darling!

friends, been spending quite abit of time with them too.
making an effort to meet at least once a month.
but am definitely looking forward to more meetups in 2o11.
also, im glad to have met even more new friends lately.
oh talking about friends, guess the major thing that happened was the argument with bro.
which led to a 3-hr msn conversation. haha.
was pretty upset for awhile but im glad the argument occurred.
cos i could finally let him know how i really felt.
but no worries, everything's fine now. so, life is good! haha.
ok im getting tired, so abit high liao. :p

lastly, online shopping.
i guess ive become a kuang online shopper since 2oo9.
and probably 2o1o was the tip. hahaha.
been buying a lot online and knowing alot about the whole industry.
thus, having the thoughts of opening a blogshop.
however, been procrastinating or the longest time. haha.
i know i really need to get down to doing it soon.
i will i guess, once i have sufficient funds.
it shall be my 2o11's resolution. lol!
btw, yes back to online shopping.
my wardrobe's bursting badly.
my shoe cabinet too!
and i still cant stop buying. haha.
maybe i should do sth about it in 2o11 too :p
okok, i should get down to my resolutions now.

resolutions for 2o11:
1. start my blogshop
2. cut down on shopping
3. spend more time with boyf, friends, family
4. own a chanel 2.55!! hahaha (i dont know why is that a resolution but i dun care!)
5. learn driving (thats my resolution almost every yr. haha)
6. widen my networking circle
7. to be a better person (as per every yr)

ok that should be enough for the year.
im going to work extra hard this year.
so that i can fulfil most of my resolutions.
i hope this year can be a great year for me!
and of course for everyone else too. :)

alrighty, bed time soon.
have a great weekend peeps!

:(

2011-01-06T22:41:00.002+08:00

the stress level is getting to me now :(
my head thinks abt work every single min for the past few days.
i just feel demoralised again. sigh.
dont get me wrong.
work has been fun with great colleagues.
but its just the nature of the job.
somehow i still feel that im not suited for sales.
i want so badly to go back into marketing at this minute.
ok, i mean at this very minute.
because i just feel demoralised now.
i hope this feeling will go away soon.
i dont know if ive been too hard on myself.
but this number game is really driving me nuts at times.
i just really tired this week.
plus i sprained my back a few days back.
so it just makes me feel more tired :(
i hope next week will be a better week.

darl's flying to china tmr.
and i have a meeting at 730pm.
how wonderful.
anw, i guess i'll spend the weekend recuperating.
need a lot a lot of rest at this moment.

good night for now!

short update.

2011-01-03T22:43:00.002+08:00

i did a 2o1o summary post the other day.
but i wasnt thinking properly, so sentences were gibberish.
thus i decided not to post that up.
i am still wanting to do a summry post but perhaps this weekend instead.
while darl is away and i have more free time.
i feel too shagged to think now.

new year was simple too.
full day at work then sushi tei for dinner with darling.
countdown and mahjong over at darl's friend's place thereafter.
and tadah! welcomed 2o11.
haha really simple event this year.
but i just feel contented spending it with darling.
spent half the day in town on 1jan.
wanted to look for a lightweight bag.
but of course, found nothing except for the branded ones.
i honestly want my chanel soon. wahaha.
ok, when i get loads of commision first :p
bought wedges from substance instead.
i love the shoes there lah.
but honestly, ive been spending alot of shoes lately.
especially wedges.
cant describe my love for them. haha.
just received my F21 and HH's shoes today.
they are total love lah.
am wearing my HH's wedges tmr :)))

alrighty, i promise to be back with a more detailed update soon.
till then, enjoy your week ahead!
im going to work extra hard :)

xmas - a simple affair.

2010-12-27T23:16:00.003+08:00

been wanting to blog my end-of-year post.
however, im always dead beat when i reach home :(
i hope i can churn that post out by this week!

anyway, work has been tiring.
both physically and mentally.
cant stop thinking about work even during weekends.
i guess im feeling a little stressed now.
i just hope it will all be fine soon.

xmas this year was exceptionally simple. haha.
friday's xmas lunch in office was quite fun though :)
then we had mismatch's xmas dinner at ly's place.
really simple affair with monopoly to end the day.
i gave up playing halfway though. haha.
because it was really pointless when darl and everyone else were owning all the properties.
and me, none! haha.
saturday was much simpler.
bak kut teh lunch at founder with darl.
and a short nap back at home after that. lol.
woke up to catch guilever's travels at suntec.
and mahjong thereafter with my usual kakis.
seriously, how much more simple can it be? haha.
but its ok lah.
im happy just being able to spend time with darling :)
didnt get darl any pressie this year too.
as im pretty broke.
havent gotten my salary yet.
but once again, will make it up to him once my money comes in.
darl got me the damn chio AE's dress.
which i havent got a chance to wear it out yet. haha.
but still, thank you baby! :)

and yes, i havent gotten a chance to wear ANY of my party dresses yet :(
boooo.
well, also because i didnt party at all this year.
not that i do every other year. haha.
but this year, i was purely spending time at home, or friend's place.
so totally no chance of dressing up.
cant wear it for work too cos i need to be formal almost everyday.
guess i'll have to keep them for new year and cny.
i think im almost done with my cny shopping as usual. LOL.

alrighty, my eyes really cant seem to open anymore.
i'll try to have more updates soon.
till then, enjoy your week! :)

stressed

2010-12-22T00:05:00.002+08:00

not a very good day for myself today.
nothing happened though.
i guess i just felt kinda disappointed in myself.
i see my weaknesses much clearer today, though i already do know what they are.
but in the past, i could skip facing it.
since it was never part of what i needed to do.
but now, im forced to face it, be it i like it or not.
so thats the tough part.
where i feel really demoralised.
sigh :(

i really hope i can overcome it.
and prove myself wrong that it'll always be my weakness.
because i honestly do want it to become my strength instead.
i guess i really need a lot more practice.
owells, i hope tmr will be a better day.
:(

work.

2010-12-19T21:38:00.002+08:00

decided to do a quick post before i get back to my 'homework'.
anyway, yes, ive started work already if you dont already know.
had training from wed-fri.
totally draining because there are alot of things to remember.
even till now, i cant remember most of the stuff. haha.
thats why i have to get back to doing 'homework' later on.
im officially out in the field tmr, so i really need to make sure i know my stuff well.
wish me luck! :p

met up with perps on friday after work.
ok, the thing about my work location.
its near my place, about 15-20mins direct bus ride.
but i find it a little hard to get to town.
because it involves multiple changing of buses.
so it took me quite awhile to get to town.
nonetheless, we managed to do quite abit of xmas shopping.
perps got 4-5 gifts while i only got 1. lol.
still, it was a fruitful trip.
but the crowd was madness lah.
i had a hard time squeezing among because of my big bag, and i was carrying my lappie.
to add on, i had big paperbags after shopping, which i kept knocking myself into.
thus, there are alot of blueblacks on my poor leg now :(
the xmas crowd is just madness.
thats why i decided to skip town on saturday.
headed to haji lane instead with darl.
was looking for fabrix laptop bags.
but the store didnt have the ones i wanted.
so we went over to funan instead.
well, i can only say, the variety of laptop bags available in sg is really limited.
i was this close to customising it online from fabrix but i decided against it because:
1. it isnt waterproof
2. no zip
so it simply means my lappie will get wet if it rains.
and we all know how often it rains lately :(
so i settled with a decent red laptop bag instead.
no idea what brand it is but it looks nice and fashionable enough for me.
think thats most important. wahahaha :p
oh and i must say 'thank you darling' for driving back to funan so that i could get it.
i didnt get it when we were at funan initially as i wanted to look around for more.
but we couldnt find any other nice decent ones at sim lim or elsewhere.
so we headed back to funan to get it :)
anyway, we spent the day around cityhall/suntec/marina.
there was still a crowd but definitely better than orchard.
settled dinner at kovan in the end as i was craving for thai food.
home sweet home right after and we spent the night watching tv.
just ♥ spending time with him :)))

and its back to work tmr.
dont get me wrong, im not complaining, since its what ive been wanting. haha.
but i just hope i'll be able to reach expectations.
and do well so that i can buy my chanel!!! wahahaha.
ok just trying to motivate myself. :p

alrighty, more updates another day.
have a great week ahead peeps!
its xmas! :)))

a new phase yet again.

2010-12-14T22:02:00.004+08:00

i dont like this feeling now :(
*scared* sigh.
the woes of starting a new job at an unfamiliar place.
yes, im starting work tmr.
very short notice but it doesnt make much of a difference.
and the reason why im extremely afraid, is because ive switched industry, switched line.
me not in marketing anymore :(
im pretty upset about it but i have chosen to challenge myself further.
i just want to train myself to be better in communication and networking.
and once im done with that, i hope i can move back to marketing.
it is afterall my passion.
but for now, i guess its going to be a tough journey for awhile.
i just hope i can go through it smoothly.

waiting for darling to come over now.
wanted to see him suddenly as im feeling really emo.
and i do miss him badly :(
hes been busy this week with his project.
guess both of us will start to be really busy the upcoming months.
i hope we'll still be able to balance our rship and spend quality time whenever we can :)

ok pls wish me all the best for tmr.

right decision?

2010-12-14T00:37:00.002+08:00

i dont know if i made the right choice.
i honestly struggled quite abit.
im freaking out a little as i type here too.
because its something new and in fact much more challenging that my previous.
but my only motivation now - money i guess.
and i no longer need to freak out on printing errors or crazy deadlines.
but of course, there are other new challenges now.
i just hope i can face them all with an open heart.
i hope i made the right choice.

i need to be awake early tmr.
and run all my pending errands.
im pretty good at procrastinating (haha!) so yes, i have alot of overdue errands.
with the first one being, collecting my altered clothes.
i resend one dress last last week and another dress to be altered.
was supposed to collect it last week but i was lazy.
and now that im left with only one weekday, i need to do so by tmr.
xmas gifts, ive got some ideas already.
but it requires some running around to check out on the items.
so it also needs to be done by tmr.
shall have macdonald brekkie if time permits.
havent had it in quite awhile =x

i ransacked through my boxes of clothes earlier on too.
as i need to dig out my old workclothes.
whole pile of them are on my bed now.
and ive gotta clear one of my hanging racks to make room for them.
but of course, i'd need to iron them first, which im lazy to do so at this moment.
i like ironing clothes, but lately, i dont find joy in it.
haha i dont know why though.
maybe because i havent had much new clothes to iron.
even if i did, i dont even have the chance to wear them out.
too many party dresses =x
i just hope i get to wear them soooooon! hehe.
okok, i should just get down to ironing some clothes.

have an early night peeps!

and to darl, i know its a busy week for you this week but dont overwork or stress yourself k? jia you! :) love you. i will jia you too :)

fat face :(

2010-12-12T22:40:00.004+08:00

if you're wondering, why that title?
ok its because i realised my face got chubbier.
its very noticeable in photos and im disliking it so much :(
took some peektures along orchard road last night.
but im uploading none on fb because of my fat face. booo.
i may be eating only 2 meals a day (brekkie & dinner), but i do binge alot during dinner.
and snacks at midnight when i get hungry.
chocolate, cheese, both are enough to me make fatter. grrr.
plus weekends, where i seem to always be eating alot with darling.
i never used to finish my meals.
but now, i think i ccan finish almost every single meal.
ahhhhh, im already twenty five this year.
i honestly cant afford to put on weight now.
because at 25, weight put on would not be lost easily.
im even noticing a tummy. :(
ok i wont say i'll go on diet because many people would kill me.
but i guess i would just choose to snack lesser at night :)

alright, time to recap on my weekend.
friday:
very eventful day.
i shall go into details later on.
shall just talk about the meetups first.
met up with my uni buds for dinner to celebrate xw's and ly's bdae.
dinner at crystal jade.
oh, i like the porridge at the lido outlet because it comes with hot stone bowl.
so it keeps it warm all the time.
just that you'll naturally feel warm too after eating for 10mins. haha.
xw didnt manage to join us for dinner so we met her for dessert at ps cafe instead.
i think i talked alot that night. haha.
alot of crap in fact.
had to release my stress somehow =x
guess i had fun discussing with eve on our exchange pressies. haha.
i was supposed to get her pressie yest but i had zero ideas on the proper gift. lol!
only thought of the weird ones. :p
anw, met up with cup after dessert with the girls.
had to head all the way to forum as pacific plaza was packed, and so was wheelock.
spent quite abit of time catching up with her.
and discussing about our career paths. haha.
home sweet home at 3plus am.
was dead tired when i got home.

saturday:
waited for darl to end work and come over.
headed to town with the intention of getting gifts.
but yes, i bought none. haha.
im so dead lah. im left with 1 more weekend.
anw, we reached town pretty late so our lunch became dinner.
was supposed to take peektures with all da trees in town too.
but i got lazy and moodless somehow. =x
so we only managed to take a few.
but but.. my camera kinda screwed up too.
it cant seem to capture purple/pink.
these two colors would just turn out blue :(
so i had mostly 'blue' trees caught on camera. haha.
we probably need to take it again another time.
plus ive still got many trees not taken yet.
and oh yea, my fat face :(
so darling, ok? pls pls pls.... :p
programme after that was mahjong with apple&ed.
headed over to darl's place.
but both of us werent lucky that night.
so we lost :( haha.
had prata supper after that (no wonder im having my fat face!)
and time for bed at 5am.

sunday:
woke up pretty late today.
nua-ed at darl's place and watched tv.
i wanted teppanyaki for dinner so we headed to bishan thinking that there might be one.
but there wasnt.
so headed over to nex.
just when we were about to go try, bumped into unclejason,auntybet&perps.
and they were saying its not nice at all! haha.
so we changed out mind and joined them for zichar dinner instead.
bumped into apple&ed again too. haha.
small small world :)

pretty simple weekend these days.
as to be honest, ive just got too much on my head to be enjoying.
i just want my brain to stop thinking of whatever knott.
but of course, it doesnt stop, thats why ive been emo.
talking about which, yes, friday was really frustrating for me.
i had to make a choice between 2 choices.
but neither was one that i really fancied.
i probably called almost everyone i could to seek advice.
but i was still vexed. haha.
it was just not an easy choice.
there was alot to think about :(
haha ok i know im not making much sense here.
but i guess i will blog more about it some other day as everything is still uncertain now.
all i can say is, i just hope i'll make the right choice.

ok just 1 photo from yesterday.
spot my fat face :(

pressure.

2010-12-09T23:37:00.003+08:00

i finally broke down after controlling for the past few days.
i have been under alot of pressure lately :(
be it self-inflicted or from my surroundings.
i wanted to blog about my thoughts and feelings.
but the blog's just too open for me to say everything.
so i just kept it within myself.
but i finally spoke to darling today.
because the pressure's too much for me to handle it on my own anymore.
and im glad i spoke to him, because i feel alot better now.
all i can say is, i really wish to stay in the marketing line.
if its something im good at, i guess i should just continue pursuing it.
think so?

on the much lighter note, im happy that my fingers were very fast today :)
so i managed to get an invoice from AE.
i was slower the last time around.
anw, darl's getting it for me as part of my xmas gift :)))
thankiew sooo much!
i like how he has been pampering me with these dresses. hehe.
btw, my buying has decreased by sooo much :( more than 50%.
i came home empty handed though i went to nex today after an interview.
oh wait, i just remb i bought a makeup remover. haha.
but thats a necessity as ive ran out of it at home.
i wouldnt want more pimples popping out =x
anw yea.

xmas around the corner.
but im really not motivated to get any presents.
mainly because im broke.
but ive got a few to get actually.
for those who are expecting pressies from me, pls have lower expectations this year. haha.
i need to be much more economical :p
so no more fancy expensive gifts.
think i should go for the cute stuff you see around takashimaya. lol :p
xmas is a chore each year when it comes to buying pressies.
i foresee orchard will be packed on saturday.
but i dont care, i want to go take peektures!
shall dress up this saturday too :))
but im wondering if i should skip the heels. haha.
but im always in flats lately :(
shall decide on saturday again.
and oh, i have a huge pimple on my nose.
i hope it goes away sooooooon.

ok, time to window-shop blogs.
i need to maintain this happier mood.
or i'll go into depression soon.
sigh.

oh before i go, here's the pic of the damn chio dress i got. haha.

for darl to see anw. so at least he knows what he sponsored for. :p

p/s: ive been getting alot of tight dresses lately i realised.

Rapunzel

2010-12-08T15:24:00.000+08:00

Flower, gleam and glow
Let your power shine
Make the clock reverse
Bring back what once was mine
Heal what has been hurt
Change the Fates' design
Save what has been lost
Bring back what once was mine
What once was mine

argh!

2010-12-08T01:11:00.003+08:00

i feel horribly horrible these few days.
dont ask me why.
i just dont feel like talking about it.
but im sure its not that difficult to guess.
sigh.

i just dont feel like talking to anyone.
because it aint going to help.
i just dont know how to make myself feel better either.
arghhhhhhh!

this or that?

2010-12-07T00:43:00.002+08:00

random quiz again.

MAKEUP
Blush or bronzer?
blush, dont really know how to bring out the best from bronzers. lol.

Lip gloss or lipstick?
lipstick. lipgloss feels gluey and sticky.

Eye liner or mascara?
eyeliner. makes my eyes bigger :p

Foundation or concealer?
i need them both actually. haha. but if i really have to choose, foundation.

Neutral or color eye shadow?
color. i suck at using neutral colors. it feels as though ive not applied anything.

Pressed or loose eye shadows?
pressed.

Brushes or sponges?
brushes in general.

NAILS
OPI or china glaze?
opi i guess? dont use any of the above though.

Long or short?
long. i feel naked with short nails somehow. haha.

Acrylic or natural?
natural.

Brights or darks?
dark colors please.

Flower or no flower?
if ever im doing manicure, i wouldnt mind doing floral.

BODY
Perfume or body splash?
perfume.

Lotion or body butter?
lotion. but i use neither.

Body wash or soap?
body wash.

Lush or other bath company?
no idea?

FASHION
Jeans or sweat pants?
jeans definitely. especially the skinny ones :p

Long sleeve or short?
sleeveless? haha. ok, it really depends on what it is. probably short.

Dresses or skirts?
dresses. im decked in them almost everytime im out.

Stripes or plaid?
stripes? since i dont own any plaids.

Flip flops or sandals?
would love to be in havianas (haha!), but i think sandals suit me more.

Scarves or hats?
dont like anything on my head actually. so i say neither.

Studs or dangly earrings?
studdddsss. im just so not a dangling earring person.

Necklaces or bracelets?
necklaces. i feel bare without them.

Heels or flats?
i love heels. but my poor feet just cant stand the walking in heels :(

Cowboy boots or riding boots?
chio booots can? haha.

Jacket or hoodie?
jacket on most days. hoodie on dress down, casual days.

Forever 21 or charlotte russe?
f21.

Abercombie or Hollister?
aber.

Saks 5th or nordstrom?
huh?

HAIR
Curly or straight?
straight rebonded ones.

Bun or ponytail?
ponytail.

Bobby pins or butterfly clips?
butterfly clips!

Hair spray or gel?
neither.

Long or short?
longgg.

Light or dark?
dark. light makes me face look fat. haha.

Side sweep bangs or full bangs?
side sweep. i look like a kid with full bangs.

Up or down?
down. dont really like tying.

RANDOM
Rain or shine?
shine.

Summer or winter?
summer?

Fall or spring?
spring..

Chocolate or vanilla?
choc!

East coast or west coast?
east coast. whats there at west coast btw? haha.

sunday blog.

2010-12-05T22:14:00.003+08:00

blogging on sundays have very much been a habit, or rather a routine already.
just wanna pen down my weekend each time since my weekdays are boring. lol.

fryday with cuzzie.
perps was on leave that day so i finally had a shopping companion on a weekday :p
met her at haji lane first and we had my fave ice-cream! pluck!
had the intention of buying the whole pint back initally, to share with darl.
but i was headed to many places thereafter so i had to push aside the idea.
went over to 313 somerset after haji as perps wanted to buy stuff from uniqlo.
and for once, she bought way alot more stuff than me. haha.
im pretty much on a shopping ban. so yea :(
anw, there was a heavy rain, so we were stucked there till evening.
settled dinner there too at food republic - korean food.
ive been a fan of korean food lately. lol.
never used to like it in the past, but i guess my taste bud changes as i grow.
and ooo, i happily wanted to head to takashimaya to shop since i had vouchers.
but kuku me forgot to bring it out. haha.
so yes, window shopping the entire day :(((
ended the day at daiso and both of us were dead tired by then.
my stamina has really dropped alot lately.
old old old! :(

saturday with my boy.
planned to meet him later in the day so that he could do his own stuff and have his haircut.
but silly him was done by 12pm and i got woken up by his call.
he came over and we nua-ed awhile till it was time to head out.
rapunzel at amk hub.
i think the movie's nice but i think i was more concerned over whether it'd bore darling. lol.
i caught him yawning a couple of times (thou' i didnt tell him. hahaha) so i was afraid it's so not his kind of movie.
but luckily he felt that the movie's good too :)
still, i didnt feel that its touching to the extent where i would cry. haha.
i know some people found the movie damn touching and some teared.
well, not me though :p
but anw, im totally in love with mandy moore's voiceover lah.
love her disney-ish voice in the songs. haha.
and rapunzel's a very pretty princess.
love pascal too. sooo cute! i thought he was a frog initially. haha.
i just love watching cartoon lately. no idea why :)
headed over to wenhao's place for his birthday bbq.
thankfully the rain stopped.
didnt eat much though as im still sick.
after dinner, all fo us went up to his place to attempt kinectic.
not me though. hahaha. shy lah :p
darl tried it and i actually have videos of him dancing lah. LOL!
but i have no idea how to extract it from my iphone so i cant upload it here. haha.
im sure most of us had fun laughing. :p
mahjong for the rest of us who wasnt that into kinectic. haha.
was having a lucky hand so i won quite abit initially.
but we ended up playing 3 rounds, which all of us got really tired and pek chek playing. haha.
so the luck decreased. hahah, only won abit in the end.
the game only ended at 730am.
totally shagged after that with my totally cui face.
i wished i didnt had makeup on.
because it definitely made my face cui-er with it on the entire night :(
talking about which, am having thoughts of 'lessen-ing' my makeup application.
switching from foundation to bb cream as its supposedly better to my skin.
but changing my entire makeup range means money again.
so perhaps next time bah, when i have spare cash to use.
ok back to this morning.
went for brekkie at amk market after the game and only went to bed at 930am.
so im still feeling very tired now.
shall sleep early tonight!

on a side note, im feeling very emo these couple of days.
ok i know it happens really often.
but i find it a lil harder to contain my emo-ness these few days.
so please pardon me if im unreasonable or feeling insecure.
i just feel really insecure now.
im not directing at my relationship or whatever.
but rather, im feeling insecure as a person.
maybe because i feel that i have nothing now :( sigh.
the past 2 weeks were more motivating and encouraging.
but now, it gets a lil demoralising once again.
so im praying for the best now.
pray for me too k?
i know darl has been there for me all these while.
and im really thankful for that.
especially the effort to gimme more tlc.
but i really need alot of tlc now. lol.
im just glad to have him all along :)
really. thank you bee.

/EDIT:
realised we havent gone to take photos for xmas yet.
love the xmas tree decors this year so i really want to have pics taken.
but sadly, im not in the xmas mood at all.
i hope taking these pics will make me feel more festive.

getup.

2010-12-01T22:35:00.006+08:00

no idea why but ive been coughing quite badly these few days.
my chest/lungs just feel a lil breathless and requires more pumping.
haha. i dunno what im talking but yea, i hope i get well soon.

looking fwd to hanging out with cousin on fryday!
its been a long while since i had company to shop with in the afternoon. haha.
the woes of an unemployed among my friends/clique :(
another woe, im pretty broke too.
so its more of window shopping or shopping on vouchers only. lol.
why vouchers?
mom gave her complimentary vouchers to me! from takashimaya and robinsons!
promised darl to give him 20bucks. hahaha!
but to be honest, i dont have much to buy in brick&mortar shops.
ok, i can definitely find things to buy with me being me. LOL!
but those aint really necessities so i think i should skip it first.
(just got 'niamed' by darl when i said i wanted to get a longchamp bag. haha)
so the only necessity left? probably stocking up of my makeup.
am running low on my blusher and foundation.
so yeap, might end up using my vouchers on those only :)
but speaking about online shopping, my hands have been very itchy lately.
hahaha. and im somehow hoping that my doorbell with ring or having a parcel in my mailbox!
but its impossible because i havent bought anything lately.
so i was just hoping santa or someone would just drop me parcels. hahahaha!
i think im going crazy already.
im like undergoing cold turkey lah. LOL!
i honestly think im a shopping addict. :p
yea, anw since i didnt have anything new, i decided to mix and match my clothes.
and im loving this combi somehow!
my shoes are just so matching also! :D (oo, just realised it cant be seen properly in the pic. its actually my blue floral wedge)

i matched it with my red floral top too.
but i forgot to take pictures :(
anw, decided to mix n match some other clothes later.
so that i have more 'new' clothes to wear out. hahaha.
to be honest, the reason i buy so many clothes is because i like wearing new clothes each time i head out.
i do not really like to be seen out often with the same getup.
i know there are quite a number of people who are anal about wearing the same thing.
so they change their wardrobe often as they only wear each piece once.
i wouldnt say im very anal because there are some clothes which i love so much and i keep wearing them. haha.
but i would still love to wear something different each time i head out :))
and to be decked in pretty clothes boosts my confidence hell alot!
heels do the same too, just that i havent been wearing them often now.
because it hurts so badly. haha. lousy feet :(
anw, i have a few more clothes waiting to be sent to the tailor.
am putting it on hold as i dont need them now.
and the longer i drag it, the higher chance i can keep them for cny. haha!
i have a few pretty dresses in mind that i wanna keep for cny.
but with me being me, i know i'll still buy more for cny.
so.. i'll try my very best to buy lesser in 2011. hahaha!
i just love clothes too much lah.
like how some people love food, love gaming, love whatever. :p
but yes, i do control myself when im broke :)
so dont worry yea?

i think, whenever i blog about clothes, i can go on forever. haha.
okok i shall try to blog about other stuff.
lemme think about it first k?
anw, its already december!
and xmas is coming.
but for once, im totally not eggcited about it.
especially the shopping for presents part.
yes, because i am too broke for it :(
i dont really have an xmas wishlist too.
buy me pretty dresses, or accessories and i'll be happy. haha.
ooo, and my xmas log cake from delifrance! LOL! :p

alrighty! am headed to do some random stuff.
i cant wait to watch rapunzel soooon though!
talking about which, i am reminded that my hair is like grass now.
i didnt straighten it nor apply any hair cream today as i thought i was just heading to central to get my bubble tea.
but goodness, i realised my hair was really disgustingly frizzy.
and it was worst after the wind blew it all over. sigh.
i really really wanna do rebonding soon.
but but, 180-200bucks :(
any kind sponsors?
pls sms me if you're willing to sponsor.
wahahah!

good night! :p

half a weekend.

2010-11-29T01:45:00.003+08:00

weekends pass really fast.
i seriously wonder when will we ever have 3 weekends? haha.
extremely short weekend this week.
because darling had to work on saturday :(
poor him had to work till 7ish pm.
a part of me didnt want to niam but the other part of me got impatient while waiting. LOL!
because i was waiting aimlessly since noon.
and i didnt know whether to eat or not.
but yes, i totally understand that its work-related so i honestly cant complain =x
(anw bee, next time you can ask me to go find you lah. i dont mind :) but you still owe me 8hrs! hahaha :p)
and oh, he made it up to me by bringing me to sushi tei @ ecp!
havent had sushi tei in awhile so yeap, it made me a happy girl.
thankiew! :)))
wanted mahjong after that but changed my mind and headed for ice-cream.
just wanted to spend more time with him alone :)
first time at udders siglap.
but seriously, i'll never head there again.
it was omg-ly noisy!
its probably the noisiest place in the world lah.
10mins in there almost made us deaf.
so we totally didnt enjoy our ice-cream.
i prefer PLUCK at haji sooo much more :p
anw, didnt wanna head home early so went for a car ride.
headed down town to look at the xmas lightings.
it actually looks quite good now.
i thought it sucked initially. hahaha.
cos it wasnt fully done the other time, so yea i had the wrong impression.
i wanna head down next week to take peektures of all the lovely xmas trees! :)

not much plans for the week ahead.
'cept for tuesday.
am trying to look for plans on friday too.
been home for 2 fridays already :(
ive been having very itchy fingers these few days too. haha!
the last i bought online was the toga dress from AE abt 1.5 wks ago(the pic i posted up on fri).
so yes, very tempted to buy stuff now. lol.
but am controlling :p

alrighty, gonna grab something to eat.
tata~

xmas dresses!

2010-11-27T00:23:00.005+08:00

dragged myself awake this morning.
because i needed to head to bras basah to collect my altered dresses.
if you're wondering, my tailor closes at 4pm.
so yea, i gotta be there before she closes. haha.
the alteration this time was rather expensive for 1 piece because i needed to alter the entire dress.
a big job i would say.
the dress practically drops if i dont even alter it. haha.
and because im too in love with this dress, i didnt want to sell it away :)

pretty? hehe. but actually its still too long.
this aint the actual length, i folded it up a little.
so i might head down to my tailor again to ask if she can shorten it.
didnt notice much on the length today when i tried it :(
was more concerned about the fit.
anw, this is definitely 1 of my xmas dresses. haha.
no celebration plans yet but i just ♥ dressing up during festive seasons :p
the other dress i altered was an old dress.
it keeps dropping whenever i wear it, so i just had to send it to alter. haha.
and ooo, remb the dress i got from AE previously?
yet another party dress for this xmas! :p
but now i got it in 2 colors - both white and mint. haha.
am trying to sell the mint one off though.
hopefully someone buys it :)
(pls ignore the shoes, was too lazy to get a matching black pair. haha)

walked around bugis after that.
and finally got my hands on the fred perry mook bag.
haha i know fred perry is so not me but that bag is really nice.
and alot of people are carrying it on the streets lately.
anw, its sponsored by darling! so, thankiew!
im carrying it tmr to NEX! hahaha :p
and oh, i got myself a hello kitty pen! LOL!
its only 1.90 and i think its cute so yeap, sth to cheer my day up :)

went over to NEX last night.
wow, i must say its confusingly big. haha.
its hard to explain but yea, the layout's a little scattered.
and it takes more than 30mins just to cover all areas (that doesnt include entering shops).
no kidding. haha.
so yea, my new hangout place for awhile.
but its not fully open yet, so gotta wait till early/mid dec i guess.
am heading there again tmr with darling :)

alrighty, im going to stone awhile.
time passes very slow today.
its not even 1am now. sianz.
anw, have a great weekend peeps!

egggs!

2010-11-25T17:18:00.003+08:00

ok i just had to blog about this.
my turtles just laid eggs!!!! :)))
i think its benben. haha.
cos shes probably the only girl.
she laid 3 eggs actually but they squashed one.
and upon pouring the water out, my dad broke another one.
so now we're left with one egg.
but theres probably nothing we can do with it too. haha.
the temperature's just not right for hatching.
but still, im soo eggcited!!! :))))
it just feels totally awesome. hahaha.
i ♥ my turtles :)

iOS 4.

2010-11-24T01:04:00.002+08:00

ive finally stopped procrastinating.
and im glad i chose to do it since noon.
because the kuku upgrading took me more than 6hrs!
haha, pls thank my slowpoke connection for that.
so yes, anw, im officially an iOS 4 convert for my iphone.
laggard, very in fact, because ive been using iOS 3.1.2 for the longest time. haha.
boyf always complains that he cant dl certain games.
and tadah! now he cant finally play more games.
i kinda like the layout of everything.
especially when i no longer have 8 pages of apps already!
ive grouped them all under folders so its only 2 pages now.
very happy to see an organised phone =D
BUT.. my only complain - reception seems really lousy.
3 bars at max. wth?
i hope it doesnt affect my blogshop camping. haha.
ive changed my screen protector to the glossy one too.
had it free previously when i bought the cover from epicentre.
but i dont really like it cos of all the fingerprints.
so im heading back to daiso to get my matt ones. haha. :p

im feeling much better today.
but slight migraine this morning :(
woke up at 8ish again.
i seriously wonder why?!
couldnt really sleep last night as i was constantly coughing.
sians.
i hope i wouldnt wake up so early tmr.
my appt is only at 4pm.
anw, meeting my besties tmr too.
at mad for garlic.
i like their pizza! :)

im probably headed to bed in awhile.
feeling a little emotional these few days.
it could be because of pms.
and also job matters. sigh.
ok i'll cheer myself up tmr.
in some way or another.
and oh, now im thinking.. should i get the fred perry bag or the asos one?
asos's cost only 20bucks!
but its a clutch.
hmm.. i'll decide tmr.
good night peeps!

not getting any better :(

2010-11-22T23:29:00.004+08:00

weekends were a little torturing.
especially when i couldnt stop coughing.
had fever yesterday and today too :(
and i hate mornings so much because getting up is a torture.
always feel like fainting.
i really need to get well soon. sigh.

fryday was tiring.
had an appt at 3pm and i was done pretty fast by 4pm.
wanted to head home but found it pointless.
so i walked around till it was time to meet darl and his friends.
but yes, everyone was late.
and i was walking around aimlessly in my new pair of heels, at least 3inches high.
seriously felt like dying, so i ended up buying a pair of flats.
i cant seem to wear heels anymore :(
my toes always get blistered. grrr.
dont like.
anyway, had dinner at about 8ish 9pm.
shabushabu at iluma.
wasnt too bad but it was just mainly pork. haha.
i love pork btw. as compared to chicken.
yes, very weirdly. :p
anw, we headed to geylang for durian thereafter as wenhao's gf wanted it.
her first time in sg.
but of course, i didnt get to eat any.
or else i'll be in a worst state than now.
saturday, cant remb much of what we did.
but we headed to jurong point to walk around for awhile.
then over to cousin's place for owen's birthday bbq.
couldnt eat much too due to my throat :(
got a lil more sick on sunday.
watched harry potter and i had fever after that :(
the show's so so only.
think part 2 will be much better.

appt at mountbatten this afternoon.
was running a fever while on my way there.
luckily i survived the interview.
i felt a little emotional after it.
maybe because of the questions asked.
i just found it a little.. demoralising.
but oh wells, i only have myself to blame once again.
anyway, headed home after that to change my outfit.
as i was meeting mismatch for dinner.
and to celebrate elaine's belated birthday.
dinner at watami.
not a fan fan of watami but its ok to head there once in awhile.
cheap food, average standard, so still edible. haha.
home sweet home after that.
and so im blogging here :)

im finally able to get some rest tmr.
been out almost everyday since last week.
i really need the rest badly.
alrighty, i should head the sack soon too.
2 launches tmr morning.
but doubt im waking up for it.
ok good night!

today feels like monday.

2010-11-19T00:22:00.002+08:00

it doesnt feel too good to be still sick.
sorethroat. cough. head pain. and stomach cramps.
this weekend aint going to be that fun with all these sickness :(

yesterday felt like saturday somehow. haha.
and today feels like monday.
i think its actually quite weird to have a mid week break.
definitely hard to adjust for the working people.
anyway, darl and i headed down town yesterday.
to get a pressie for my nephew - owen.
celebrating his bdae this sat.
but i honestly think its damn hard to buy toys for boys.
maybe because im a girl.
im totally clueless on the types of suitable toys for them.
but too bad, i have more nephews than nieces. haha.
aznd my two nieces are actually in aussie.
so that leaves me with five nephews here.
and buying pressies for them is always a headache.
thankfully, theres boyf! whos very much into toys too. haha. :p

im headed down to raffles place again tmr.
i hope it doesnt rain though.
because i'll be decked in high heels again.
i hate walking in the rain with heels.
it causes alot of blisters on my poor feet due to abrasion :(
so yea, pray for me k?
meeting darl's friends for dinner after that.
but i cant decide if i should head home first or just hang around.
meetup time is quite late though.
so i'll decide tmr.

probably heading to bed soon.
lately, i cant seem to last after 1am.
my body's just seems too weak now.
i really need more rest.

alrighty, have a great weekend peeps!
im watching harry potter on sunday!
wheeee! :)

allow me to be a spoilt brat when im sick, pls?

2010-11-16T00:34:00.003+08:00

maybe because im feeling unwell again, i just feel horrible.
my throat hurts very badly at this moment.
swallowing my saliva becomes a difficulty too :(
i really hate having sorethroat because the pain is just horrible.
maybe that also explains my mood now.
i somehow just want more tlc and all the attention there is.
yes, call me a spoilt brat.
but i just cant help it at this moment.
my throat is just making me feel worst.

im headed to raffles place tmr noon.
but in this state, i seriously cant imagine how am i going to talk.
i need to get lozenges before i get there.
and hopefully feel a teeny bit ok.
i dont have plans after that.
i wanted to head down to bugis to pray and to walk around.
but i know, at this state, it sucks even more when im alone.
i'll probably be groaning and moaning, feeling really awful.
and perhaps feel too weak to even have retail therapy.
but i dont wish to head home too.
because they will be around.
and yes, asking me lots of question after that.
i just dont wish to entertain all these.
not when im sick.
because i know i will feel worst when they start talking.
but ive got no other company at night.
boyf's headed to play mahjong with his friends :(
i have to admit that im biased against some people.
so im always fickle about allowing and disallowing.
i dont wish to be like this.
but blame me for being a girl.
and like i said, allow me to be a spoilt brat when im sick yea?
but with so much said, yes, so i'll still be alone tmr.

anw, the feeling of being sick just sucks.
im ranting just because i feel horrible.
and when im feeling horrible and sick, my mind doesnt process properly.
so yea, do pardon me.
i'll probably head to bed soon.
and hope i'll feel better when i wake up tmr.

random quiz

2010-11-15T02:20:00.003+08:00

because im bored.. so....

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Got back with someone you’ve broken up with: yeap
7. Been cheated on: sadly, yes :(
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: doubt so
9. Lost someone special: yea
10. Been depressed: who havent?
11. Been drunk and threw up: yeap, twice or thrice i think

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:

12. nude
13. pastel yellow (for now that is. my fave colors change very frequently. haha)
14. blurple (haha! i cant decide between blue and purple)

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2010)

15. Made a new friend: yeap
16. Fallen out of love: not this year
17. Laughed until you cried: cant remember but it happens at times
18. Met someone who changed you: this year, maybe and maybe not
19. Found out who your true friends were: knew who they are all along :)
20. Found out someone was talking about you: think so? cant remb. haha
21. Kissed anyone on your Facebook friend’s list: yes, boyfeee

ABOUT YOU :

22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: i think all of them. i hardly add people whom i dont know :)
23. How many kids do you want?: 1 boy, 1 girl
24. Do you have any pets: four cutee terrapins - benben, girlgirl, xiaogui, rhino
25. Do you want to change your name: nope
26. What did you do for your last birthday?: universal studios and steamboat dinner with boyfee, tcc drinks with besties and boyfee
27. What time did you wake up? today?: 12ish pm
28. What were you doing at midnight last night?: mahjong + supper
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for?: to get a job.
30. Last time you saw your Mother: just now
32. What are you listening to right now: some song by show (cant remb the title)
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: nope actually
34. Who is getting on your nerves now?: well, parents :(
35. Most visited webpage: facebook? cozycot?
36. Whats your real name: vanessa
37. Nicknames: vane, vern, van, fly, banana
39. Zodiac sign: oxxie
40. Male or female? female
41. Hair color: natural brown
42. Long or short: long hairr
43: What do you like about yourself?: hmmmmm...
44. Piercings: ears. 2 and 3
45: Tattoos: nah

YOUR FUTURE :

58. Want kids?: yeap
59. Get married?: yea
60. Career: successful marketing person? successful entrepreneur for a blogshop? hahaha
61. Lips or eyes: eyes
62. Hugs or kisses: hugs
63. Shorter or taller: taller
64. Older or Younger: older
65. Romantic or spontaneous: romantic
66. Nice ass or legs: haha.. erm, both can?
67. Funny or serious: funny and serious at the right time :)
68. Drank hard liquor: yea
71. Been arrested: im too guai. haha
72. Cried when someone died: yup
73. Fallen for a friend: dont think so

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

74. Yourself: yes
75. Love at first sight: yup but impressions may change thereafter. haha
76. Heaven: yeap
77. Santa Claus: not really
78. Kiss on the first date: depends
79. Angels: maybe
80. God: yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

81. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: nope
82. Did you sing today?: think so, just now in the car. haha
83. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: back to my sec skool days actually
84. The moment you would choose to relive?: cant think of any at moment
85. Are you afraid of falling in love?: nope
86. When was the last time you lied?: dont remember
87. Are you usually late, early or right on time?: depends
88. Are you a good person?: good i supposed?
89. Do you dream of being famous?: haha sometimes?
90. Stole your parents money?: nope
91. Is there a specific reason you're not dating the last person you texted?: i last texted my bestie. haha
92. Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone?: yes
93. Is anything bugging you right now?: yeap, too many in fact :(
94. Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/ girlfriend smokes?: used to, but ive learnt to close 1 eye
95. Was the first person you talked to today male or female?: my male boyfeee
97. Your last ex says they never even liked you, you say?: wtf? hahaha
98. Do you still do pinky promise?: yesh, to boyfee dear
99. Does anyone hate you?: probably
100. Is it usually easy for someone to make you smile?: i think its relatively easy :)
111. Do you honestly miss someone?: yeap. my closest peeps whom i havent met or talked to in awhile
112. Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?: when i see boyfeee? haha
113. What bed did you sleep in last night? boyfeee's
114. Have you ever kissed someone whos name starts with a k?: nopey
115. Who was the last girl you had a conversation with?: perps! but that was a week ago! haha. im so antisocial lately :(
116. How is your heart at this moment?: calm for the time being
117. How is your mood?: same as the above
118. Do you have a picture of you kissing someone?: yes, i often force the boyfee to take a pic. haha
119. Does your password have to do with a boy/girl?: which one?
120. Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama?: denim shorts
121. Is there something that makes you angry?: many in fact. oops. haha
122. Are you happier single or in a relationship?: rship i guess because theres the boyfeee :)
123. Have you ever had your heart broken?: a number of times
124. Have you ever broken someone's heart?: regretfully, yes
125. Talk to any of your exes?: yup, still friends with some
126. If you could go back in time and change things, would you?: change what?
127. Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend? i'd like to think so!
128. Do you want to get married?: yes but sometimes, i do fear it
129. What was the most exciting event of 2009? last year was bad. just bad.
130. Are you happy with life at the moment?: things could be alot better
131. Would you ever dye your hair black?: done it once!
132. Do you believe everything happens for a reason?: yes
133. Will you be in a relationship in the next few months?: am already in :)
134. What are you currently listening to?: coincidentally, its xiaogui's song on radio now
135. How is your hair atm?: disgustingly frizzzzyyy
136. Do you have a best friend?: yes, besties i call them 3 :)
137. Do you think you have changed?: yes, quite abit along the years
140. Where's the last place you went besides your house? suntec
141. What would you do if you found out the person you liked had a girlfriend/ boyfriend?: boyf, you only have me right? hahaha
142. What's on your schedule for tomorrow?: nothing i guess?
143. Do you always answer your texts?: depends actually, but mostly yes
144. Was '09 a good year for you?: as said, nope, it was a bad year
145. Has anyone said they love you in the last week?: yes :)
146. Someone knocks on your window at 5am, what do you say?: wtf? haha im living on the 10th storey btw
147. Everyone deserves a second chance, right?: it really depends
148. Who was the last person to wave at you from across the street?: boyf, after dropping me off
149. Are you wearing make-up?: yes, i havent bathed =x
150. Do you think "I love you" are strong words?: yes, especially to someone who means alot
151. Do you hate anyone?: probably not hate, but dislike =x
152. Have you ever been in a fist fight?: haha, thats courting doom for me
153. Argued with anyone recently?: not in the past few weeks i think
154. Do you like texting?: actually... nope. i think its a hassle
155. What makes you happy?: boyf, friends, clothes, shoes, bags! haha
156. Who are you seeing this weekend?: boyf i guess?
157. Why did you do this quiz?: because i couldnt sleep earlier on! but im tired after answering all these questions. lol

good night!

weekend happenings.

2010-11-15T00:27:00.004+08:00

im sure i thought lesser this weekend :)
thats why i ♥ spending 'we' time with the boyf :p
but now that its sunday and im back to reality once again, i cant help but feel emo.
sigh. i really wish things could get better for me soon.

anyway, headed to jb on saturday.
and oh i actually survived on a 3-hr sleep only :(
cos i was engrossed in playing an app on fryday night. haha.
so i only slept at 5ish am.
i should really slap myself for that. lol.
anw, went over to aeon tebrau jusco, the bigger mall in jb.
nothing much there actually.
i wanted to get shoes there but ended with none.
then we walked over to tesco, which was just opposite.
but it was funny how we got over there. haha.
cos we kept walking the wrong directions, plus it was raining.
bought nothing from there too so we decided to head back to city square mall.
and i finally bought a pair of nude heels :)
not exactly cheap but its just hard to find nude heels in sg.
so yeap, my only buy that day.
headed back to sg at about 8ish.
and we played mahjong with his parents.
darl suggested supper at bedok after that as he knew i was craving for bak chor mee! haha.
wanted it last wed but i wasnt feeling well.
so yeap, thanks baby! for being so thoughtful :)
i was very full but i still managed to finish my entire bowl of noodles. hehe.
oh yah, we actually had 5 meals that day. crazy! haha.

slacked abit today.
then we headed to suntec to watch megamind.
i think the show's quite nice.
at least the storyline's quite good.
and orlo! haha.
had thai food for dinner - lerk thai.
food's not bad but probably pricey.
im generally ok with most thai food joints.
cos i get satisfied easily with tomyam soup and minced meat with basil leaves. haha.
a very fulfilling meal i must say :)
i think i could survive on just thaifood and ramen everyday. wahahaha.
ok abit kua zhang i know.
because i seem to have lots of other food cravings :p
oh oh, i wanna go try ippudo and arteastiq soon.
maybe with my besties if i can meet them this week or next.
arteastiq is a tea place with lovely decor and seemingly nice tea. haha.
i havent tried but ived seen photos.
and since darl's not a tea person, i need to find my girlfriends! haha.
cant wait! :p
yes yes, cant wait for wednesday's PH too.
because i get to spend time with the boyf again. haha. :p

ok i shall end this post with wiw yesterday!
ive decided to try a checkered and sleeved minidress for the first time.
and i must say, i like! :))
love the color combi and darl says it looks burberry. haha.
:)

cant sleep.

2010-11-13T01:46:00.003+08:00

im blogging again because im bored.
its fryday but i didnt plan any programmes.
kinda regretting it but i just dont have the mood to head out this week :(

heres what i did today:
i got woken up 3 times because i thought i heard the doorbell.
obviously i was dreaming. haha.
and yes, the drilling above still continues *rolls eyes*
i seriously wonder, how many times can you drill a house??? wont they drill a hole through?
but wells, ive gotten used to it, in a way or so.
i can surprisingly sleep through the drillings, though its annoying cos i dont fall into a deep sleep still.
anyway, back to this morning.
i refused to wake up though i got woken up 3 times. haha.
i guess i was feeling emo? especially when my hp doesnt ring.
but yea, i finally pulled myself up at 3pm.
couldnt decide what to have for breakfast.
im sick of my shou taos. and the kueh lapis.
then i thought of egg bread!
i had eggs and bread so i could experiment it.
yes laugh at me please.
ive only mastered the skill of cooking eggs at the age of 24. lol.
and egg bread is sth i never tried.
so so, i decided to try.
well, my first attempt kinda failed.
cos the procedure was wrong. hahaha.
tried the second time and woohoo! definitely edible! hahaha.
but ooo, i think im eating too much eggs lately.
gotta cut down the intake.
yeap, anw, i nua-ed after that, watched tv.
yu bai was damn funny today and i had a good laugh :)
decided to go grab dinner after that.
so i headed to sgoon central to da bao bubble tea, duck-leg rice and sze chuan soup.
i totally love this combination. haha!
food makes me happy.
as much as i used to say i dont like food, i guess im lying. i loveee food.
just that it has gotta be me favourite food. haha :)
watched my usual shows on ch55 after dinner and did some ironing for tmr.
and online thereafter.
my boring daily routine hur?
oh wells, i dont have a choice. sigh.

so yup here i am feeling bored :(
i wanted to watch some movies.
but couldnt think of any to watch.
ok i shall go play some games on my iphone.
have a great weekend peeps!

the flu bug.

2010-11-11T23:16:00.009+08:00

been unwell the past few days.
runny blocked nose and feeling extremely lerthargic :(
luckily darl came and bought dinner over.
thank uu!! :)
am feeling much better already.

anw, im actually quite moody at this moment.
because i didnt get invoiced for the color i wanted for a dress.
hahaha. yes, slap me. but its just disappointing :(
because i camped for it.
and commented within 45secs.
if not for the lj undercut cock up, i believe i would have commented MUCH faster.
sigh :(
nonetheless, i got invoiced for my alternative color - mint.
its this dress below btw.
i dunno if you can tell the diff, but the left's mint and the right's white.
this dress and PL very chio right? hahaha :p

credits: agneselle.lj

thank u darling for sponsoring! hehe. love you.
oh and u know u know, i wanted to get 2 items initially.
but i decided to be guai and only buy 1 item. haha.
ive learnt how to buy wisely :p

the weekends are approaching again!
heading to jb with darl on saturday.
as for tmr, i dont have any programme, probably just slacking at home.
i like spending time alone at home at times.
like today, i took out a stack of my clothes, ironed and took photos of it.
so that i could sell them.
those pieces are brandnew but ive got no stock pics for it as some are bought from B&M stores.
been wanting to take pics of it but my parents are kinda in the way =x haha.
so yeap, only managed to take a few pics today cos they skies were turning dark by 5ish.
dont like to use flash so i shall continue tmr instead!
also, last night, i randomly felt like tidying up my desk as it was way too messy.
sometimes it piles up because my mom starts putting stuff on my table.
so yea, need to clear it once in a while.

oh, i found a cd lying on the floor.
and it's written FLY SONGS on it. hahaha.
i think this cd's from melissa previously when we were in FC.
the high society songs that she ripped off her itunes for me.
maybe i should listen to it again soon.
but it might put me to sleep because its all jazz! haha.
love those songs though :p

maybe i'll head down to bishan tmr.
to grab dinner.
been home the entire week!
perhaps cos im sick, i didnt really feel like heading anywhere.
hope i can fully recover soon! :)

alrighty, shall catch some movies tonight.
good night for now!

diwali weekend

2010-11-08T00:12:00.002+08:00

i havent been in the best of moods this entire week.
but i just cant exactly describe how i really feel.
perhaps, pessimistic is the most apt word for now.
i have alot of negative thoughts in my head.
like what if i cant find a job?
or what if i can never afford to get married?
or what if i can never have my dream wedding or my dream home?
etc. etc. many more of such thoughts in my head throughout :(
i dread the topic of jobs lately.
or even when anyone starts saying they're soo busy at work.
i just feel envious.
for once.
i wished i could be busy working too.
and i hate it when people start questioning me.
because im feeling horrible enough.
i honestly do not need to feel worst by being questioned.
i am trying my best but i just dont have the luck anytime now.
sigh.
ok i think ive said too much here.
i just hope i can feel better as i go along :)

ive been watching alot of movies online.
mainly just to get myself distracted.
but they're good entertainment to make my smile too.
ive caught the wedding game, kungfu panda, hachiko, horton and 1 more movie which i cant remb. haha.
anw, darl brought me out shopping on friday!
since it was PH.
but, i bought nothing :(
been trying my luck to get the perfect pair of nude heels.
but they are nowhere to be seen.
there weren't any pretty dresses around too.
so yeap, nothing bought.
mahjong with my usual kakis at night.
won abit so it makes up as my allowance. haha.
slept till late noon on saturday and darl brought me to marutama ramen.
been craving for ramen so badly recently.
finally satisfied it :)
had planned to head to either central or liang court's outlet for it.
but we came across an outlet ard raffles place area so we settled over there.
it was not crowded so we totally didnt have to queue.
bet the queues at central and liang court were crazy. haha.
ntuc shopping thereafter at sunplaza.
finally found my sengchoon chawanmushi! hahaha.
im so gonna try it over the weekdays when my parents are away in genting.
oh yea, they'd be away the entire week at genting and malacca.
they just got back from batam btw :)
ooo, darl and i actually wanted to head to jb today.\
but kel couldnt make it last min.
plus it's the PH week, so there'll probably be a jam.
so we're heading there next saturday instead.
i so wanna look for heels there! :p

alrighty. shall see what movies are there to catch up on.
have a greeny monday instead! :p

emo. ome.

2010-11-02T00:12:00.001+08:00

im feeling emo at this moment.
but i dont wish to spoil darl's mood on his bdae.
thus im not posting this out until after he sees his birthday post later in the day :)

anw, this job searching thing drives me mad at times.
it makes me pissed at myself.
and i keep losing a lil of the motivation i have each day.
but im trying so hard to keep it up.
because i really need a job soon. sigh.
but it just aint helping when alot of my emails are ignored.
leaving me with no idea what else to do :(
can someone offer me a job now?
i'll be happy to take it as long as its marketing-related.
sigh.

short week ahead for those who are working.
no difference for me but at least i can have more company from darl or friends.
i feel like heading down town this week.
and have ramen at ippudo.
but yes, broke me shouldnt be thinking about that :(
i have been more careful with my money lately.
i still spend though.
i'll be lying if i told you i bought nothing.
but yes, definitely far from how much i used to buy.
i used to randomly buy something because i felt the urge to shop.
be it a file, a mousepad, a toy, or anything small that i see.
but now, ive banned myself from it.
because that lil amt spent adds up to a lot. :(
____________________________________________

typed the above last night.
hoping that my mood would improve today.
but today seems worst :(
sigh.
now i just want to sit down here.
listen to soothing songs.
and hope that it'll make my gloomy day go away.
pardon me if im temperamental this week.
im trying not to, but just in case i cant control it.
i know i put on a smile each day.
be it when i type or when i talk in real life.
but deep within, theres so many things running in my head.
and im always struggling to fight the emotions.
these few months havent been easy once again.
but i know i only have myself to blame.
so yeap, i just hope i can overcome this soon.

anw alrighty, happy tuesday people.
dont wish to spoil anyone's mood further.